Please note, this is an automated transcript so it is not 100% accurate.

Suraj (00:00):
This is deep deep friction that the deepest friction because most people say it I’d rather have died like Anything but this and I almost did die. So, you know, I already went through my near death Then I had to do this one and my death I would have taken in a heartbeat over this So the deepest deepest trauma on the human level becomes the greatest spiritual potential of my entire existence that I can, because that moment that it happened was an eternity.

Guy (00:52):
Guy here, my beautiful guest today is white eagle medicine woman, Suraj Holdsworth. And wow, this was a podcast that went in a completely different direction than I expected to. And I want to leave you a question that I often ponder on is, is life happening to us or is life happening for us? And from that, our spiritual growth and development can come no matter how deep the pain might feel. Powerful podcast. I’m not going to give anything away. All I say is this came out organically in a very different direction, which made it even more beautiful than ever. Enjoy this show. Please let me know in the comments below what you get out of it. Much love. See you soon.

Guy (01:46):
Welcome to the Let It In podcast, Raj.

Suraj (01:49):
Oh, thank you so much. I’m so excited to talk to you Down Under.

Guy (01:53):
I know, talking off air, like you know Australia more intimately than myself and I live here. So I’m excited to see where this conversation goes today.

Suraj (02:05):
Me too.

Guy (02:08):
First question, if you were on an airplane right now and you sat next to a complete stranger and they asked you what you did for a living, what would you say?

Suraj (02:22):
Medicine woman.

Guy (02:26):
Then I would have to ask, well, what does that entail if I was that stranger?

Suraj (02:34):
All types of shamanic healing modalities. Shamanism is really the most complete psychology of healing because it involves all the elements of who we are, mental, physical, emotional, spiritual. So, you know, that’s how I explain shamanism in one line because it is so holistic, it’s working with the elements, you know, the core elements of earth, air, fire, and water. It’s not just therapy where it’s analysis in the mind, which is just in one dimension of who we are, and it really encompasses all of who we are. And in shamanism, we ask questions like, when did you stop singing? When did you stop dancing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop spending time in silence rather than what happened in your childhood? So these are shamanic tools that connect us to all the elemental energies of who we are. And in Africa, they say, if you can talk, you can sing. If you can walk, you can dance. And just connecting us to body, connecting us to soul. So that’s our work. And we work in all different dimensions of that, including doing world music, as we have with Grandmother Drum, the seven-foot largest crystal inlay drum in the world, which has done Oh my gosh, how many thousands of kilometers of Australia in our 2002, 2003, 2012 world tours, working with tribes, doing reconciliation, working in cultural and healing arts to promote that spiritual connection to every spiritual truth available to awaken. And that’s really important to us.

Guy (04:31):
that we have access to all of. Yeah. Yeah. I got goosebumps when you said if you can talk, you can sing, if you can walk, you can dance. And what do you feel the core element of what it is to be human then for to express our lives and to live the human experience? Because I feel as a society, we’re more disconnected than ever. But then again, more and more people are leaning into this kind of work to looking for answers.

Suraj (05:04):
I think a deep soul connection with Mother Earth is essential for us to know who we are here. And second is some of the things I’m going to talk about today, which is purpose, which gets very, very distorted in Western culture. It’s like everybody’s into that these days. It’s like the new age thing, oh, find your purpose. And I think that that’s been very, very misunderstood through the overlay of religious belief systems. For example, we think we’re here for something, and if we miss it, we’re not on our path. You know, there’s this panic that we’re gonna fail the test. And in our understanding of purpose and connection is you are already enlightened, you are already the light. You can’t not be. You cannot be not on your path. And if you were already what you’re searching for, which I went through a personal discovery with this that I’ll share at some point, a deep personal discovery that you already are what you’re searching for at your core, then really all of these exercises that we’re doing, whether it’s meditation or shamanism, whatever, is just sort of taking off what isn’t. to that light. And that we call soul work, you know, because we have this soul that travels through lifetimes like a vehicle, accumulating knowledge, accumulating karma, wisdom, and that soul has to be purified because we carry a lot of karmic history. that sort of layers on top of that light. So we say going from ego to soul, it’s like it’s base metal into gold, ego to soul, and then soul back to spirit, the light of who we are, divinity, God in form. And that self-realization is the reason we’re here. All of the elders, I’ve worked with so many Indigenous people throughout the world, and they basically just say we’re here for four reasons. To love. To worship, which is also misunderstood, I’ll explain that. To bring harmony. And to steward the garden. To enjoy this garden. And of all of that, you’ll see most Cherokee and many, many tribes will say it’s just to bring beauty, to bring more things, to create more things to love, to be in that field of who we are. And I think shamanism answers that because it’s so deeply rooted. It is not esoteric, it’s very deeply rooted in a relationship with all of creation. And, you know, in America, people misunderstood our sort of declaration of independence. when our founding fathers came over and our Iroquois nations were the ones that guided those first steps, because they had a functioning democracy within their lodge system. And this is in American history. But the word, we the people, that says, we the people, da-da-da-da-da, was totally misunderstood because to Indigenous people, it meant the rock people, the plant people, the tree people, the cloud people. It didn’t mean just the human people. And so this idea of not just a human family, but a family of all living things, And when Christianity sort of tried to interpret Indigenous was, oh, they’re pagans and they believe in false gods, instead of, they saw God in everything. They saw everything as holy and part of the one. So that reverence is really, I think, where we’re losing it on the planet. We forgot that communion. We forgot how to communicate with the animals. We forgot to communicate with the plants. We are children of the sun. And it’s like you said, you, before we got on today, you were saying, you know, I was really successful in my career. And the more successful I got, the more disconnected I got, you know, somehow, you know, because I was so busy in that world. And I didn’t have that deeper connection. And I think that that’s what I wanna share, but I also wanna tell a story about that, because it’s way more poignant when you say, what do you mean you’re the light you’re searching for? Yeah, we all know that in our mind, but I really don’t know how to get that. And it’s a very, very intense story, so I’m gonna prepare you for that, and prepare myself for that, because I’ve only started to share this, I’ve only come out of a period of introversion, which is not my nature, because I’m teaching all over the world. And I have taken the last 18 months, as much as possible, I’m still teaching, but to go within myself, because I lost my only daughter 18 months ago. And I’m in the deepest, deepest, inconceivable pain. And for the first time in my life, I’ve been driven since I was a very small child, very type A, very much goal-oriented, very much achievement-oriented, and climbed all the highest mountains in the world. I was the youngest woman up the highest mountain in our country. Like all of these kinds of very focused goals to move myself through. And spiritually, I was always on this path, and enlightenment was my goal in life. I was like, all I wanted in life was this carrot that all of the mystics talk about. My name comes from an Eastern mystic that I worked and was a sannyasin of Osho. All of this was for awakening. That was my whole life. And when this happened, and I was teaching this program I’m launching here in October for the first time, and I was years in the works from all of our spiritual teachings, it’s our foundational program, and it’s called Spiritual Sensuality, the Divine Feminine and Unearthing Your True Purpose. And we work within the medicine wheel of the purposes, which, don’t worry, I’m gonna give you all of the medicine wheel of purpose in our worldview. And I was so into this, and people were taking it and having such beautiful flowerings and such. And then when this happened, and it happened very, very suddenly, very unexpectedly, my daughter was 33, died of alcoholism. And I just collapsed. And I just felt like I’ve done it all. I’ve performed on the stage with world-renowned people. I’ve put some CDs out and I toured the world and touched a million lives. You know, all of the things that you think, oh, that was good. I helped the world and all this kind of stuff. And I lost all meaning and purpose in my life. I was like, none of this matters. My daughter’s dead, none of it matters. And I struggled deeply because I am renowned for teaching people how to live their purpose. And I was like, I couldn’t find any meaning and purpose. Everything seemed to be so trivial. And what happened was, I actually kept saying, and this is true for so many mothers that I work with on Facebook and these bereaved parent networks, is the classic line of a mother is, my daughter didn’t die that day. I died that day. People are non-functioning. They are non-functioning for 20 years. They have terrible health issues. They die after their child. And I thought, this is not going to be me. If I have to go through this, I’m either going to check out because I’m not going to suffer, or I’m going to figure this out somehow. I already had my own near-death experience in 2019. I was 21 days in the hospital with a super rare thing that happened and was on the edge for 21 days. And I thought that was the biggest initiation I was to go through. And that was a preparation for four years later or three years later, what would happen. And when that collapse happened, and I kept saying, I died. There’s nothing left of me. I don’t really have any other reason. I’ve done it all. Why did this get sculpted that I survived that to only witness this? And it took me such a long time. And one of the things that was most important to me is I’ve been a trance medium my whole life. My entire organization is run by a spiritual board of directors on the other side that I’ve channeled since I was in my 20s. So as far as talking to the dead, like that’s like something I do every day. And I couldn’t hear my daughter, just could not hear her talk. So I got in touch with a woman through my partner who’s Austrian of the top Austrian psychic She knew nothing about me. She didn’t speak English. She doesn’t want to know who died, nothing, you know, just let her channel. And she nailed my mother, my father, my brother, my best friend who had just passed, and then my daughter. And my daughter was saying, Mom, I’m coming to you. You know, you’re just so upset. You can’t, you can’t seem to hear me. And so I want you to start automatic writing with me. And I’ll tell you everything, you know, well, you know, And I think that’s the thing that many parents don’t have that I have is this ability to communicate, but every parent can. Everyone is psychic and everyone can. So I assist people with learning how to continue that communication because that’s the severance that is so difficult is losing the communication. So she’s writing a book through me. It’s been a year and a half and she is guiding me through every step. And she asked me to do many things that I won’t go into right now. But the key thing that she asked me to do is three consecutive, a certain distance apart, plant medicine journeys, which is something I lead. So that was unusual for me. But it was a plant that I hadn’t worked with that much. And so I did the first two. And again, I’m not going to go down those first two. But the third one happened very recently. And I did all the preparation that she asked me to do on my body. I was feeling like something was ripped out of my body, and I had all this somatic stuff going on for many months, which she healed with her instructions to me. And this day, it was just another day, and I thought we were preparing to guide other people in a retreat, and it was a new medicine we were working with, and so I wanted to test it, you know, make sure It was good quality. And you know, we had gotten it from a very special person. But still, I always make sure it’s it’s good for everyone. And I went on this journey. And the journey transformed me to the core. I was filled with light. You had your own experience you were sharing with me earlier of a Kundalini experience. This was an enlightenment, a flash of deep enlightenment that I can never describe. In fact, that’s why I haven’t talked because it’s so difficult to say I got enlightened and that’s just so egotistical and weird. And so I call it a flash of enlightenment. And my body was totally filled with light. The voice that spoke was my voice as the I am of myself, the highest level of my own light, spoke in a commanding voice. And all my little self was still, you know, I had enough plant, but not so much that it was completely gone. to have my little self buzzing around the light like a mosquito. And I had this voice says, I am what you’re searching for. I already am. And I can’t describe that sentence because that’s so trivial. The enormity of what happened of me in full recognition and realization for the first time ever in my life or lives. It was just like, I mean, I have listened to Osho, I’ve listened to all these gurus going, it’s an instantaneous when it happens, it’s a flash that’s instantaneous, that recognition. And I was like, everything I’ve ever believed I ever taught, I ever thought, is all false. This is the only thing that’s true. It wasn’t a mental recognition. It was a complete cellular knowing, and it was beyond this body. And I grabbed a pen, and I wrote down, I am the life that I’m searching for. In all of this, my daughter was everything to me. She was the bright light. I called her my bright star since she was little. And I had no idea, because I’d never felt codependent. We’re both incredibly independent people. We’re both Aquarians. We’re completely unique. We didn’t talk every day. We weren’t that mother-daughter. So it really stunned me when I was so broken from this on such a level of not grief, because I’m very used to that process. I’m not talking about the grief or even the trauma of her death. I’m talking about an experience that I was dismembered, that I was literally something got taken from me inside my own light of being. And this is the first moment that I actually, that all of it transformed in a lightning bolt. And all my goals, all my purposes that I thought I was here for were just erased, completely and utterly erased as nonsense. And I didn’t know how to handle that. I laid there and I was like, my little self was flying around going, but what about the spiritual journey? You know, like, what is there to do otherwise? And the voice said, if you’re on a journey, you’ve already left. this dialogue between my little self sort of freaking out that there was nothing to do, that I was already am what I’m searching for, what I’m after, what I’m goal-oriented for, erased everything. I was like, well, then what am I going to do? Am I ever going to want to do anything? And the light said, only if you feel like it. I mean, it’s not going to improve the light, and it can’t, it’s not going to take anything away. You already are, and so is everyone else. It’s, you know, you’re not special, in other words, everybody is, like… Everybody’s special. Everybody already is the light. And I experienced it. It engulfed me completely. And the only place it wasn’t was about from my thighs down to my feet. Everything else was pure light. I could feel it. I was it. And this interaction kept going, this dialogue between this omni-light of self and this lower self that was still struggling, the ego self. And I said, well, you know, I can feel it. It’s not quite in my legs yet. Tell me what I can do to get it down my legs. And they said, you’re already ahead of yourself again. You’re in a goal. Can’t you just be the light and stop trying to get it to go somewhere? You know, just be. So I said, well, will I ever get up? And they said, I don’t know. And I was like, well, They said, can you get up? Well, it wasn’t a they, it was just a voice. And I said, no, I can’t get up. I was just really knocked up by this plant. And they said, well, then why are you asking? That’s the future. You don’t need to know that. You’ll know when you’re ready to get up. And it just kept going like this. It was so intense and it was so powerful. It seemed so small, but it was so massive. I laid there and I said, well, will I ever want to do anything? And it says, it has to come from a place of delight. Isn’t that a powerful pun on that word? Like it’s just the light wants to express itself and beauty and celebrate itself and overflow to give to others. But if you think that you’re going to save anyone or you’re doing this because you know, it’s great for your spiritual ego, it’s like, None of it will matter. Everyone else is already the light. So you just get to celebrate that. And it was the first time, and I’m 63, and I’ve been doing spiritual work since I was a child. You know, I didn’t come late in life to this path. And I have traveled in 20 countries, and every indigenous person goes, you are a shaman here in another life, you know? And I’m like, okay, all right. It, nothing. It was all washed away as nothing. And then a really dear friend and board member of ours, who is an amazing therapist and healer, said, oh, it’s because of all the work you’ve done on yourself. And I said, no, that’s the ego. It’s not so true. Everybody is. And there’s only the recognition And the recognition happens when we’re ripe for it. And that doesn’t mean we achieve it. We can’t achieve it. So when I’m talking to you about purpose and where I’m gonna take you on spiritual sensuality, it’s not anything like, oh, I know my purpose, like this kind of thing. It’s a completely different thing that I’m talking about and that I’m gonna carry people in this eight week program through. It’s a very different process of uncovering And for some people, that recognition happens, and they get that flash of enlightenment through many different things that in life. But I don’t know anything on this planet. My brother died, both my parents died, my best friend just died in my arms. I am a death doula, so I’m comfortable there. You can stack all of that. In fact, one of my staff in Australia died in Lismore from a snake bite on our tour. She was 31 years old, shattered me for 10 years. Nothing, you could stack all of that together, and nothing equals losing my child. And what I realized is what they said to me, or I said to me, was you needed to die, and what died is your meaning and purpose, because it was all false. This is the only truth. And everything in my life was centrifuged, this deep, deep anguish and friction that birthed this moment of a pearl in me. In fact, the work I’m going to be doing next year is we’re preparing all the material now for mothers and parents. It’s called Mother of Pearl for the women, the mothers. This is deep, deep friction, the deepest friction, because most people say it, I’d rather have died. Like, anything but this. And I almost did die. So, you know, I already went through my near death, then I had to do this one. And my death, I would have taken in a heartbeat over this. So the deepest, deepest trauma on the human level becomes the greatest spiritual potential of my entire existence that I can, because that moment that it happened was an eternity. It was an eternity, and I could see all the way through my lifetimes that I had never experienced this, but I completely recognized it. as the only thing that is. And we can’t, we can inspire people through these podcasts or, you know, courses and this and that. We can never make it happen for them. And hopefully they don’t have to go through what I went through for that moment to happen. And it’s, I have much to integrate that. I’m sorry, I’m enlightened, you know. It was a line in the sand in my existence. And now I’m trying to figure out how to live in that new context. And all my goal orientation, all my futuristic Because when I almost died in 19, I wanted to leave a legacy of this foundation I’ve built for 25 years across the world, get it all online, get it all packaged up in case I do go, and that this was so important, my legacy, and all the medicine bundles I was given by Indigenous people to carry. And my ego was very tied up in that. that that was super important. And now it’s like, yes, I still like to do that, but it’s not that important. And it’s taken all, when I almost died, I thought I went from being driven to being passionate. And I feel even softer than that now. It’s like, where’s it coming from? It has to come from within, which is what the program is all about, spiritual sensuality, the divine feminine. The divine feminine is to me the inner of all of us, not women, but the inner to the outer. It has to come in that natural way, rather than, oh, it’s a good marketing tool and all this kind of stuff. No. or I will spread the word better, and we just become ministers or ministry like Christianity. We’re saving people or whatever. It’s the same lines. It’s the same line, shamanism and medicine work. So I’ve said a lot, and I’ll take a breath here. And it’s heavy and it’s, you know, it’s big.

Guy (31:03): There’s a lot there. I, first of all, obviously I had no idea. So the listeners listening as well. And I just want to say thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. And my heart is really feeling it right now. Everything you shared and every word you said. And I have no doubt that everyone listening to this will be affected by that for the better. So thank you. Thank you. How do we, because we’re not all gonna have these experiences to the flash of enlightenment, that insight, because I think I’ve maybe even heard you say you can’t unknow what you know. And when we haven’t had those experience, we can only hypothesize and think of how it would be. From the head, right? And like you say, we’re not all gonna have these experiences. We’re not all meant to have these experiences. So, from what you just shared, what would be your take-home message for people in this moment that may be feeling struggle, grief, loss, trauma, whatever it might be now, and thinking that again, frustrated, and why they’re listening to these podcasts, and here on their journey, make it meaning?

Suraj (32:46):
First of all, you know, it doesn’t, like, suddenly I’m not in grief about my daughter. Right? It’s not like, oh, my God, I’m, you know, it’s all perfect. This is, and she’s talking to me all the time. And she’s like, stop telling people I died, Mom. I’m talking to you all the time. Don’t tell them you lost me, she said, because I’m not lost. I was lost when I was alive. I’m not lost now. So it’s this, I’m like, honey, please be patient. This is hard. And she’s like, now you know how I feel because you were always so spiritually so far ahead of me. And I always felt like I could never get there of what you were going on about. And I know, I know you’re not dead. You’re talking to me about it. And this process. So I say that both of those things happen in us at the same time. And I don’t want people to think that it’s all light when you have a realization and you’re not human anymore. Those things are happening together. And I’m still, in fact, this week was hard for me because I go through a lot of grief during the full moon, and this has been the two double moons in this month. And so I say that, What I do now is I am so clear that I am that light where I was so not connected to that. But even if we’re not, of course, meditation, that we call meditation, any form of meditation, again, meditation is an oxymoron because we can’t do meditation. Those are just exercises we do like breath work and all this to get in a state that we might experience meditation, right? Like that the mind will go empty and we will have this existential experience of our greater self. So we can do that through all sorts of practices that we can get an insight into that. And that’s where I’ve been for many years. I do tons of meditation work. I do plant medicine work. I do lots of different ways that I might access that truth inside. But I also say that light embraces all of my illusions of separation, such as my daughter and I are separate. any illusion of separation, which is our core thing, has to just be embraced by our acceptance. So it’s not like I went to the light and it’s all good. I now embrace that with that knowledge from my core, and I affirm that knowledge from my core. It doesn’t always stop my grief or anything, and I just say, That’s perfect, I’m just perfect for that. So there’s that acceptance, and I have many, many tools for people that are walking through this that I can recommend in that grief, trauma, and loss process. But this is another way to access it, which is what you might call yourself as the light. of all creation, and I saw it in this vision, I was literally like a scintillating part of a great sun that was millions of us as one sun, is that we all have those moments, and the Hawaiians call it vertical time. instead of horizontal time, which is past, present, and future. Some people have it in a near-death experience where their life flashes before them, right? All time is now. Or in an unbelievably gorgeous sunset in nature where you just feel this enormous sense that you’ve merged. I mean, how many people have had that experience in nature where they just suddenly feel like they were one with everything? This is the vertical time experience that we call spiritual sensuality. And in those moments, those are the only places that we actually heal is in vertical time. And Mike Kahuna is a real haoka, total haoka, which means he’s a trickster. If he doesn’t love, he says, I don’t let any guides on the other side talk to me unless they have a sense of humor. And he’s hysterical, but he says, 90% of our healing work that we do as healers is preparation for 10% party. And he means that we can’t do the healing. The healing has to happen in vertical time where everything’s available or in the quantum field as physicists like to say. And so how do we stretch the expression of vertical time is recognizing it. recognizing the moments of oneness that we have, whether it’s a moment in a meditation, it’s a moment with our child in a loving embrace that all of a sudden we just feel all the love of the universe, making love in Tantra. Like there are many moments that arise where we experience that oneness, that light of who we are. In just a split second, it’s gone. and it’s to recognize them. So it’s that gratitude that, yes, I can focus on my grief and my loss and I can go into that story, or I could recognize the one moment that I had of spiritual sensuality. Spiritual, my spirit, my light, sensuality of the senses. So spiritual sensuality means my spirit gets fully married to my five senses. And we call that ecstasy. We call that erotic. We call that bliss in all the mystic traditions. It’s what Rumi writes about. It’s this love affair with the divine, right? And so there are many ways for everyone to access it. I happen to have this experience through a plant medicine journey. But I, and I’ve had very deep experiences throughout my life, but nothing quite like this, you know, nothing even comes close. But now I can’t unknow that. I could deny, I could repress, I could get too busy. I could get in goal orientation and get back in my mind. And, but I can never unknow. that this is all false, this reality, and I’m having this experience to know myself as the dreamer and the dream. You know, it’s like the particle and the wave and the quark in the subatomic, right? I am what’s invisible to the eye, they say, in quantum physics, that that quark is not even visible until you put a tension on it. Right? So it’s our attention that brings things into the field of awareness. And what are we here for? To manifest light in the third dimension through these five senses. To bring heaven to earth is an expression. But bring that full enlightenment into the body. And to completely realize it on all levels. Now when I said mine was not to my legs, They said, these legs have never walked light before. And I went, oh, really? Wow. And immediately my mind went into goal orientation. Like how do I get the light in my legs, right? And I heard that and the voice said, here you go. And it let me know in this loving way that I haven’t fully embodied it yet. I was able to hold the light to a certain point of my body. And my legs, which is my connection to the earth element, wasn’t quite there yet. So I hadn’t fully embodied the realization. So that’s why I say it was a flash of enlightenment wasn’t a full bodied thing, because it’s still integrating. And I suspended my goal to get it down my legs. And I’m like, it will go when that time is right. I’m not going to make try to force that to happen or try to figure out how it’s supposed to happen. Because as soon as I do that, I am back in the ego and in the mind. And for sure, I’m furthest away from it.

Guy (41:54):
in the mind. Yeah, I always think of the saying, when does a flower blossom? When it’s ready. AG Exactly.

Suraj (42:01):
And you know, Osho has a great story of Picasso and purpose, which I love. And there’s this man watching Picasso paint this painting in the park, and he’s sitting there for like two hours watching Picasso. And he says to Picasso, I have been sitting for two hours watching you paint this picture. What is the purpose of this painting? And Picasso looked at him and said, I was just about to ask you that because you’ve been watching me for two hours. I figured you might know. And then he said something to him that was really profound. He said, a rose. Nobody says to a rose, what is your purpose? The rose exudes this erotic flavor, and it sways in the wind, and it’s so beautiful, but nobody says, so what is your purpose? And he said, I don’t have any purpose, I just enjoy painting. Everything that I’m about to share in spiritual sensuality is really in the essence of that story. And then Osho finishes the story, he says, People that are into purpose, what did he say, it’s like they’re in jail. And what he means by that is that it’s a prison to limit yourself in that way. The purpose is to be the light, the isness of your own essence, and you’re one in a million, you’re one in 10,000, you’re one in a billion, but there’s nobody like you. So whatever you’re bringing through as your creative act of that light is just you. It’s like the rose is just the rose, right? It’s not like, okay, what’s your purpose? Are you on your purpose? It’s the isness of that rose that is its purpose. And this process is unlayering all of this BS that we carry as a collective and then back into the soul work that we have to do because we have so many lifetimes of karma stuff to clear so we can get back to seeing clearly. So the grandparents that I work with say, you’ll have eyes to see and ears to hear. And that flash of light was like everything was perfectly clear. that this was all the ego’s masturbation. Excuse me, but that’s kind of what it is. I always call it mental masturbation.

Guy (44:56):
Yeah, can I ask you a question? Absolutely. Do you feel, what is happening on the planet right now, do you feel that we as humanity are waking up to a better sense of the word, to starting to know thyself in that light. What are your thoughts on what is happening?

Suraj (45:24):
I think it’s happening at an exponential rate. Because as the light grows, so does the darkness. Yeah, in our collective consciousness, the fear and the lockdown and, and everything that’s going on says this friction, we have all the potential in the world, just like you know, it, what birth looks like is messy. Birth is totally messy, death is totally messy, you know, and If you came on this planet from another place, and you walked into a delivery room, or hopefully a home birth, and you saw this woman screaming her head off in terrible pain, you would think something really bad is happening. But life is happening, like the most beautiful sacrament of the entire universe is happening, birth is happening, but it just looks really bad. in the moment. It’s labor, and we are in intense labor right now. All of the prophecies of all the Indigenous people, the Aboriginal people, the Peruvians I’ve worked with, the Kira shamans, all across my own country, all have prophecies about this time of tribulation or purification. The Bible calls it tribulation, the Hopis call it purification, where the soul is getting purified. And it does look messy out there. All of us are like, are we going to make it? And I just say this darkest night of the soul, which is a collective experience that we feel like we’re in, I can only speak to my own experience, right, of what I just went through as my personal darkest night of my soul in this loss, is that somehow that’s how humanity cracks out of its illusionary egg It’s part of the process. It’s not something we invoke or want. None of us want to learn this way. But it seems like we need it to some degree to have everything that we are attached to be taken away from us. and shown to us as our, like, whether it’s the loss of homes and children in Maui right now and Canada fires, this part of Australia, the droughts, this kind of loss of home, loss of people, loss of, it’s tremendous what we’re undergoing. the AI scene, which is just so ridiculously out there, where we’re not sure if we’re talking to a human being anymore. I mean, it’s a world that none of us are prepared for in our minds, and it’s a quantum leap out of the mind. And I just encourage people, no matter what darkness you’re facing, no matter what loss you’re facing, what work challenges or challenges in your relationships, it’s like this is a honing process. And our Indigenous people don’t view ourselves as victims.

Guy (48:54):
We view ourselves as initiates. I’m being initiated. And that changes everything.

Suraj (49:04):
it’s power being taken through an initiation of course you don’t know the answer because it’s out of your comfort zone it’s out of the family as we say out of the familiar which is out of the family of origin of consciousness and the only way is to go deep in our soul and I’m telling people, the whole medicine wheel that we do of these purposes has these beautiful words that go around the wheel, but initiations, the East word, South word is intuition. We have to filter everything through our deepest intuition now. There are false facts on everything, whether it’s COVID, whether it’s this, whether it’s that, political, Republican, Democrat, you name it, there’s polarization. And everybody says they have the real facts and you’re the false facts. So we have to go, there are many truths out there, but there’s only one that I need to know. And that is what my soul needs to go. That’s what I have to answer to. So I think it’s, it’s fantastic that like, you know, we can’t trust the news anymore. They’re all bought out as the billionaires are running the planet. Like it’s, it’s crazy. And all we can do is go in. And that’s what COVID was, it’s plus. It was a crazy pandemic and it made us go in. Like a collective go in. You’re grounded. All of our people on the other side, your guys are grounded. You know, go in the corner. You’ve been doing out of alignment stuff, you know, for a long time. So this is the moment, I think, that we have, and it’s always in the present moment, it’s never anywhere else. But as a quantum experience that we’re in right now, this is what we thought was 2012. That’s what we thought, my calendar, it was going to end and the whole world’s going to end. And it was off by eight years to the Gregorian calendar. Nobody realized that. In 2020 was that moment. And it’s not like it wasn’t existing, that corruption, that greed, that shenanigans. It’s just that the transparency has happened now. We’re starting to have eyes to see and ears to hear, as my spiritual elders say all the time to us now. You’re starting to hear the truth. it’s always been there. You’re just now starting to resonate with it. And we went from that age of information to the age of resonance. That’s what we have to follow. Does it resonate? Hear the way they’re talking, does that resonate in the heart? No. That’s good to know. And I feel like Because I’ve been through one initiate, I mean, I literally lost five family members, seven family members in the last four years, I can’t even count anymore. Deep situations, as I’m sharing with you. And it’s just stripping and stripping and stripping all of this stuff in my world. And I would have maybe never done it if it hadn’t been hard. And again, I didn’t do it. It happened to me because I was so broken. The ego was so broken that light could get in. So I just continue, and I, because I asked the light, you know, like, what’s happening from here? And it just said, just let the, eventually the light will penetrate the I am. Because it kept saying, and it never was in third person, it never said, you are the light, it said, I am the light. This over soul of me kept saying, I am the light. It was all in first person. And then it said, eventually the light will penetrate the I am the light, and it’ll just be the light. And it will penetrate the myself. And I went, okay, I get that. That means there will be no more I. I will have merged with that light fully. And the light just is. It’s not a personality, it’s not even an individuality. And that’s, we’ve seen that in some of the great mystics, where they just, there was no more ego, there was no more personality, there was just the light.

Guy (54:04):
Just being, wow. I’m aware of the time, so I’m gonna ask you a question. And I ask everyone on the show, before we wrap things up, and we’ll tell people where they can go to find out more in a moment, but with everything we’ve covered today, which has been a lot, what would you like to leave the listeners to ponder on?

Suraj (54:38):
The golden teacher is silence. It’s the only place you’ll find it.

Guy (54:48)
Beautiful.

Suraj (54:55):
And that’s what the light said to me, and I’ll say it to you. And that was the plant I was taking, so it was giving me a double meaning. We have five purposes that we discover as part of our expression of this light. And that’s the journey I take people on through spiritual sensuality. I have a free gift for everyone. How do I get in touch with that part of me? I call it 10 messages from your soul. It’s how your soul communicates with you every day that you don’t pay attention to. So that they can just, you know, click that link and I’ll give them that. It’s an hour audio and PDF and all that. And then if you’re called, you can join me. And I always say, you’ll know, because if you go in, you’ll know. And if you say that’s that’s not my path with that girl, that is not, you know, it’s go inward. The golden teacher is silence.

Guy (55:54):
Thank you. Anyone listening, the links will be in the show notes below. I encourage everyone to hop on over and find out more about your work. Look, thank you so much for coming on the show today. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn’t even touch one question I had for you. So maybe we’ll have to do a second podcast further down the road. In the meantime, thank you so much for sharing your gifts and your story to be in this podcast seat.

Guy (56:29):
And sharing these moments with people like yourself is very special to me, and this is why I do it. And because of that, we get to share it with thousands of other people that will listen to this over time.

Suraj (56:44):
Well, I want to say to you, it deeply touched me. I could see you almost filling up when I shared my story. And I just wanna thank you for your deep sensitivity. It’s a very big initiation that I’m still in. And like I said, I’m just starting to speak about it, all of it, because it’s been a very deep process that I’ve had to be authentic to. And your sensitivity brought something very beautiful out of me today, so thank you.

Guy (57:16):
I appreciate the kind words. Thank you. Thank you, much love.

Suraj (57:20):
Much love. Aloha.