#177 My amazing guest this week is Paul Aurand. Paul is a dynamic educator, award winning Master Hypnotherapist, and Hypnotherapy Instructor who has worked in the field for over 35 years. During our conversation today, we discuss matters such as healing, connecting with our authentic selves, improving our relationship with emotions, and how we can identify our limiting beliefs.

If you’re struggling with your inner critic or with feelings of guilt, shame, or anxiety, then this episode is for you.

“One of the first steps of that journey within is realizing the heart center as the doorway to one’s inner world.”

If you enjoyed this podcast, you may also like: What My Near Death Experience Taught Me About Life & Our Subconscious Mind | Paul Aurand

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About Paul: Paul Aurand is a dynamic educator, award winning Master Hypnotherapist, and Hypnotherapy Instructor who has worked in the field for over 35 years. He has been honored as “Educator of the Year,” “Therapist of the Year,” and “Hypnotherapist of the Year.”

Paul was the first elected President of the Michael Newton Institute (TNI) and is TNI’s director of Education and a lead trainer. He is the founder and director of the Holistic Healing Centre in NYC.

Paul has been featured in film and television for his work with the groundbreaking Life Between Lives Regression Therapy developed by DR. Michael Newton. Paul is the originator of the Soul Essence Activation and the Body Wisdom Process.

Paul has a passion for teaching and lectures widely in North and South America, Australia, Europe, and Turkey.

►Audio Version:

 

Key points with time stamp:

• Essential Healing (00:00)
• Who is a regression therapist? (01:03)
• Why Essential Healing? (02:39)
• What happens when you’re willing to heal from the inside (04:29)
• Your openness towards healing (08:29)
• Moving from thinking, into feeling (14:49)
• Do you need to identify your trauma to heal it? (19:12)
• Healing your relationship with difficult emotions (22:02)
• Identify the physical location of your emotions (26:13)
• Does trauma serve a purpose? (33:05)
• What does the Inner Child mean? (37:36)
• The inner critic (40:38)
• Ancestral healing (47:41)
• Accessing our inner wisdom (52:44)
• Soul memory (54:52)
• Soul essence (57:52)
• Paul’s intentions for Essential Healing (01:00:19)
• Listen to your heart (01:01:40)

Mentioned in this episode:

• Essential Healing, Paul’s book
• Michael Newton
• Matt Omo
• Petra Brzovic
• Tom Parks

Paul’s Website:
paulaurand.com

Paul’s book, Essential Healing:
paulaurand.com/essential-healing-book/

 

About me:

My Instagram:
www.instagram.com/guyhlawrence/?hl=en

My website:
www.guylawrence.com.au
www.liveinflow.co

 

TRANSCRIPT

Guy 00:01
Paul Welcome back to the podcast, I should say. Thanks for joining me here.

Paul 00:07
So good to be with you again.

Guy 00:09
I was looking only the other day and I don’t know if you know this. I think I don’t even know how many interviews have done now I’m unleaded in podcast is about 150 odd, I think maybe even more 160 odd over the three years massive. And our original interview we did on YouTube as the had the most views of any of the shows have done this that though, and I think it’s like 75,000 80,000 views so far.

Paul 00:39
Fantastic.

Guy 00:42
And what that shows me is that people are clearly hungry for this work. I believe you have to be with that kind of load with that kind of exposure and interest.

Paul 00:55
You know, I think it’s so needed. It took me a long time to do together. But yeah.

Guy 01:03
Yeah. Yeah. So my question to you is just before we dive in, and is I ask everyone on the show, if you were at a dinner party right now, and you sat next to a stranger and asked what you did for a living? What would you say?

Paul 01:21
Help people remember who they really are? And be that

Guy 01:27
what kind of reaction Do you normally get?

Paul 01:31
Um, I think people are curious and want to know more about how you do that. And, and what that really means. When they hear I’m a regression therapist, is often a quizzical look on their face. Not quite sure what that is, or how that works. Most people are curious. And I’ve been doing this for a long time. And I have to tell you that since the 80s, or 90s, early 90s, when I started with this, people thought it was pretty curious or weird and bizarre. But it’s really common knowledge and practice. Now, I think that the doors are really open for us people are really seeking. Most of us miss that connection with ourselves and other people and, and with the all, le I think there’s a great longing in each of us to feel connected again, especially with these last feels like years now that this this past year anyway.

Guy 02:39
Yeah, massively 100%. And it definitely feels more common conversation, even for in my world. And, you know, I had the good, there’s a couple of things I’ve been thinking about which way to start this podcast as well call and, you know, add a good forward, you forward me a copy of your book, essential healing. And by the way, I just love it. I absolutely love it. And I was curious to know why the title essential He aling?

Paul 03:09
Hmm, yeah, it’s, it’s really dual meaning. So what I saw over 30 years in practice, that there were some pretty specific, monumental, significant breakthrough sessions that people had. And, and I started working to put those together so that people could do that for themselves as well. And the real underlying or core theme and this is to reconnect with your essential self, but I call soul essence, your your core self, original, authentic self. And once you reconnect with that, and go through these layers to get to it and the practices help you get through the layers, is that once you’ve contacted that inner flame, as I experienced that, it can begin to emerge and do a lot of the healing itself. That’s not on such a cognitive level, but it’s really healing from within with your own inner wisdom, power strength that comes from your core being. So essential healing, is healings that are necessary for many of us to go through this healing with our own essence as well.

Guy 04:29
Yeah, what I’m always fascinated as well, over the years, maybe it’d be nice to share some examples of experiences you work with because I know in my life in my world and growing up, I was conditioned to always look externally to fix something with and I never thought of going within. It never occurred to me. You know, I actually had to have a big awakening was Bell fireworks and whistles to go off I see it in a very different manner now, you know. So I’m always curious to see maybe for the listeners as well, what can occur if we’re willing to start to heal from the inside out? One way again,

Paul 05:21
yeah, I think it’s a major problem looking outside of ourselves. I mean, there is a lot to be found outside. But I think the first place we have to look is within. And it’s, I think that’s a safer thing to do. It’s not dependent on someone else, another power outside of ourselves, but discovering that it’s really within us. And in that process, I think that we can go from being our thinking mind or analytical mind. And not maybe not even knowing that there’s a lot more to us than that. When I got hit by lightning, and had that near death experience, I was freed from for a period of time from the limits of the mental model. And I think that the book really tries to help people do their own practices so that they can be free of that mental mind, not that it’s gone, absence or asleep, but, but that it will step back enough that the consciousness can expand, beyond the limits of that mental mind, give you a more objective perspective, and a higher perspective. And so moving out of the limited mental mind and moving into the heart, the realm of feelings, memory beliefs, then we can begin to work with some of those things that operate inside of us, I think the three big ones are stored emotions, that limit us in many ways, or causes us to react in certain ways. beliefs, right, we all carry certain beliefs often formed very young, but formed in previous lives as well. Those belief beliefs are very real, but not necessarily true. So they can really limit us, they really influence how we operate. And so becoming free of the first recognizing what they are, and how they influence and affect us, and then establishing new ones that are more supportive, helpful and healing. And then the really big one, once you’re out of your intellectual mind, and diving through those layers, is the survival strategies, things that we all learn to do, to stay safe in life to get love, and acceptance. Right. So those those are the drivers in our life and, and my intention with this work in the practices is to go past those you’re not so controlled, or ruled by those and go to that very core self. that’s full of great life, wisdom, power, creativity, love, and connection. With spirit. I think once you make that connection with yourself, and that inner wisdom, then it’s time to work with your guides and, and, and your past, and otherwise beings.

Guy 08:29
Yeah, amazing. You know, it, it fascinates me, because I’m not sure I’ve spoken about this with you before or anything. But I, in a meditation, I actually had a massive movement of energy and started to research what it was. And it kind of opened me up in a way that I think part of it never really closed back up. And it really opened my mind and mind shattered a lot of fundamental belief, you know, and that to be open to looking at regression and open to thinking about past lives or guides and, and it was something that never really occurred to me before. Just because my reality didn’t have that in any shape or form. When we start to look at this, how much do we need to be open to the work, I guess, for it to start to take effect? Because, but I believe can get it even in the way of that as well.

Paul 09:35
For sure. For sure when I began, I mean, I had a sudden experience somewhat like yours. When I was hit by lightning, right? There was something that cause profound change in many, many ways. But it’s traumatic as well. And so after that, I was really sad. Searching? How can I help someone have that kind of transformative experience without having to come so close to death without the injury or the trauma. And so it took a long time to figure that out. And there are different ways to do that the life between life regression work that I do is one way Michael Newton developed this methodology of regressing someone back through time through childhood and into the womb and past life and death seen in the past life and then on to spiritual. Remember that time between their lives when they’re planning to come to earth. And so that’s the kind of thing that’s pretty hard to facilitate your yourself as much as I do it for other people, like, I can’t really guide myself there. But you certainly can guide yourself to reconnect with your own soul and spirit. Remember yourself as this divine being remember yourself is something far beyond your mental mind or your intellect. And so but as I started that work, my mental mind said, No, don’t do that. Something bad will happen. It really put the brakes on, it was so afraid of losing control. I think that’s something that people commonly experienced when they try to meditate or do this deeper spiritual work. Mental mind, I think really wants to protect us, I don’t think it really wants to stop us. But I had certain beliefs, that if I lost control with my mental mind that then something bad would happen, right, I wasn’t even sure exactly what it was. And I think I tried to battle with my mind and make it stop or go away. And was really quite unsuccessful with that it just dug its heels and even more on what I found worked with the fact that to acknowledge it, and say, You’ve done a great job for all these years of keeping me safe, keeping it together, going through some difficult times and, and holding the pieces together. That’s really its job, right. But this works really important to me, and I need you not to go away. But to release your grip enough to step back enough that I can make this journey inward. And mental mind if you are really concerned that something dangerous or hurtful or harmful is going to happen, then by all means, tell me step in, put the brakes on protect me if you really feel you need to do that. And it was just like some tight, clenched fists sort of Aha, okay. And it could step back enough to observe and record what’s happening, rather than trying to do it for me, because that’s what we’re used to do is using our mind to figure things out and accomplish things. It’s a really different experience in practice, to have mental mind be present, but not doing it. For me, it’s a bit like, the analogy I use is if you’re in a play or a movie, you would be a more passive observer in the audience, you wouldn’t try to project a scene onto the screen or onto the stage. And at first, you don’t know the plot or the characters exactly what’s going to unfold. But you’re more of the observer of it. And so there’s the intention of going in, but there isn’t the doing. We’re used to doing right thinking, reasoning, willing, this sort of thing. Isn’t that at all? And so it takes some time to learn how to trust and how to navigate when you’re not using just your mental mind.

Guy 13:57
Yeah, that’s massive is no, yeah.

Paul 14:00
I think that’s one of the Yeah, absolutely. And it’s one of the first and most important steps to the process is, is, well, having mental mind being more of a an ally, rather than making it an enemy.

Guy 14:17
Totally, and I’m guessing that’s why it’s because you speak of nine chapters, and line nine layers within the book that you start to take people on the journey on with the processes and work through. And I’m guessing that’s why mental mind is right at the top.

Paul 14:34
Absolutely. That’s right. Yeah. Now, and it’s one of the first things you need to learn to do is to get out of that grip of the analytical, mental mind

Guy 14:49
without making an enemy. Absolutely. When it does fascinate me that and, and the way that this has been structured, so I wouldn’t mind diving into a little bit So let’s say we begin to acknowledge the mind acknowledge that it’s here to protect me. And I’m becoming my, my dear friend, Matt, who I work with always has a mantra he tells everyone is like, I acknowledge you, I assume like a CEO, I love you, let’s talk later, you know, to when you speak into the mind. What once, once we start to allow the mind to lose grip, you then speak of the secondary of the heart, right, wife, from the mind, and then in the heart.

Paul 15:43
Yeah, I think moving from thinking into feeling shifts us from conscious rational mind, into subconscious mind, which is more associated with our beliefs, our feelings and emotions, our survival strategies. And so when you can move from thinking into feeling, you will begin to a number of things happen. I think, one of the first things first steps of that journey within is I really perceive the heart center as the doorway to one’s inner world. Most of us have experienced emotional pain in our lives. And as a result, and out of necessity, we’ve built protection around our heart, in order to stay safe in order to try to prevent being hurt again. But one of the unfortunate things that occurs when we have a substantial heart shield is that we it makes it much more difficult to access our own inner world. And to other things that happen when we have this substantial Hartsfield is that when love does come our way, it’s it can be very difficult to let it in, because this is blocking us, right. And how many people feel alone or alone, because of this protection, they want contact, they want connection, they want love. They want to express love. But there’s this substantial protection in place that prevents it from getting in. And it prevents someone from getting out as well. And with that protection in place, the hurts the wounds that we carry from the past. How can we process them? How can we release the stored emotions, when this barrier is in place, it holds the man right. And so really the second layer or step, if you will, in the process, is working with his heart protection, and working to find a way to open that heart, because that is the doorway to the inner world. And once you get that heart open, then a number of things will happen. There’s often some emotional release emotions we carry from the past will begin to rise to the surface. And then we process them basically, emotions want to be expressed. And and we’ve suppressed or repressed them and internalized them, they just want out they want expression, they want to be externalized. And you don’t have to dig through every single trauma or a thing that occurred that caused you pain. But that energy of the pain, whatever it might be, you can release it, you can fight and so there are a number of emotional release techniques in the book, there’s the volcano releases balloon release, but they’re all different ways of releasing stored emotions that are weighing us down holding us back feeding our habits causing us to keep this protection in place. So that’s that’s really the next layer is this heart opening. And getting in touch with and working with the feelings that lie beneath

Guy 19:12
I love it. I always used to think it was just a metaphor, open your heart until it actually happened. And the movement of those emotions and the grief held and physically feel some of the commodity my body it was unbelievable. The I’m curious, you mentioned something and I’m speaking to the people, the analytical people in their youth. from your experience, do you find that we don’t even need to know what the trauma is at all. Or does it help sometimes? Okay, can we just oh we just move in energy anyway.

Paul 19:58
I think that When someone comes into work with me, they often want to know, who did what, exactly what happened. They want to know the details. And that’s so cognitive. I say, you know, it’s not the details. It’s not who did what To whom? And exactly what what happened. It’s how did that leave you feeling? That’s the important thing. Not exactly what, what was done? or What happened? How did it leave you feeling? What did it cause you to believe? I’m not enough, it’s my fault, etc, etc. And how did you survive it? Right? When you experience trauma, when you experience pain, even a relatively small pain, something happens inside when we experience a strong emotion. And that’s such a conscious level, we developed a survival strategy, well, I got hurt so many times, I got left, I got abandoned, I got betrayed so many times. I can’t handle being hurt again. So I’m going to and fill in the blank, I’m going to not engage in relationship. I’m going to leave before they leave. You know, we all have our, I’m going to be responsible, I’m going to be the pleaser, I’m going to be the caretaker. I’m going to rescue people, but no one can come near me. Right. And so yeah, these survival strategies of the things that really caused great trouble. And so to answer your question, I don’t think we need to know exact details about what happened. We need to know how did it make me feel? What it leads me believing? And how did I survive it, and then that’s what we need to work with. As we do that, maybe some of the details will come. And then on a mental level, we can say okay, but if you I’ve seen too many people that know what happened, but they’re still stuck with the feelings, it’s still stuck with a survival strategy. You know, they have a cognitive awareness of it, but it doesn’t solve it.

Guy 22:02
Yeah. And then to start solving that is obviously going into the heart, the first person to become aware. And then from the, in the third layer, talk about stored emotion. Which does fascinate me as well. Yeah. Because I know for myself, personally, when dealing with emotions, I would have this strange relationship with it, because I almost felt like my body would want to shut down because I’m about to relive pain. But I’ve sort of found over time, that’s not necessarily the case. Would you mind speak into a little bit about that of what you found? Over time,

Paul 22:48
I don’t think you have to relive it. There are those who would, would differ with me on that. But I don’t think you have to relive it, I think that you have to be aware that it’s there. It’s helpful to find out where in your body you carry it, because we experienced different emotions in different parts of the body, they tend to be stored in different places. And once we, I really think of it more as energy, you know, anger, sadness, fear, they all they’re all energy. We have our thoughts about them. We have our mental judgement about them, I should have this feeling I shouldn’t have that feeling. This is good feeling. That’s a bad feeling. But they’re really just feelings. They’re just energy, regardless of how we judge them, and when we can locate them and give them some safe form of expression, whether it’s parking, painting, yelling, singing, dancing runnings, they just need to be expressed in some way. And you don’t have to know all the details. You don’t have to know all the facts, not a court of law. It’s an expression. It’s just his emotional release work really is about finding the emotions, identifying them, because they’re uncomfortable. We tend to anesthetize them, we tend to ignore them, we tend to move away from them really was my work for five years in a clinic where we specialized in patients with chronic illness and chronic pain. And I was anesthetizing their pain using hypno anesthesia and it was effective for weeks sometimes, but then they were back again. You know, we weren’t. It was it was a symptomatic treatment. It wasn’t resolving the underlying cause for their pain. Then it was instead of anesthetizing the pain what I would began doing was having them really become aware of the pain that they were carrying. Located In their body, and then finding some way to express it to externalize it, whether it was crying, talking, screaming, yelling, or just energetic release, I think some of the workshops you’ve done, you’ve, you’ve done that work where you get in touch with that feeling. And you can release it energetically through imagery through breath, through movement. It doesn’t have to be words, or doesn’t have to be a story. And the thing I found early on in my career was that we could spend a lot of time talking about the story. There was no release, there was no resolution. And in a way, sometimes it seemed like it was just reinforcing the story, wearing the groove deeper. And so I learned to pretty quickly move past the story into the feeling and then express it. And, you know, honestly, it isn’t all pain either. I mean, the flip side of it is that, as you express some of those painful experiences have accumulated in the hearts more open, you began to feel more love that you’re able to both Express and receive

Guy 26:13
what blows my mind as well is, nobody told me where to look, I never thought of looking within the body for thought emotion. And seeing where within the body and working with it. As opposed to taking something, whether it be food, or alcohol, or some something external to suppress an emotion that I hadn’t been quite aware of. And, and on and on and continue. And begin from your experience, I just, I just want to emphasize a little bit and maybe speak to that little bit, but have you found then if somebody is feeling, let’s say a lot of guilt in their life, or there’s certain debilitating emotions at home or can be anger, and they’re willing to work with that emotion as opposed to suppress it and actually go to where they feeling it in the body, it can quite often then, like you say, start to move itself and then they won’t feel an emotion so much in the charge has gone over time.

Paul 27:19
Absolutely. So if you pick an emotion, so I think you said guilt at first. Right? So guilt So first, it’s good to know that we call our emotions feelings. Because every emotion has a corresponding physical sensation. And it’s often easier to first recognize identify that physical sensation in the body before we even know what the emotion is. So I feel tightness in my throat, I feel I feel a fist in my belly, I feel a knot in my stomach. Right? So guilt has a few specific sensations. Everyone maybe experiences it somewhat differently. But for me personally, guilt feels very contractive there’s a shrinking that comes with guilt. Right, there’s this kind of smallness, and and there’s a heaviness I feel with guilt to kind of like wanting to become invisible. You know? How do you experience guilt? When you feel in your body?

Guy 28:33
I feel it always in my solar plexus under my belly and makes me How do I feel? I feel uneasy, and I feel almost unworthy to myself then and it feeds into I am not good enough. When I feel good. Yeah.

Paul 28:58
Yeah. Yeah. And so that I’m not good enough, is part of the even bigger Catterick category of not enough. So not enoughness are not enough as a huge category. I’m not enough. There isn’t enough. Right? Or subparts of this not enough. Yeah. And so guilt very much links to that. Yeah. And so if you can feel that I’m not enough that guilt, the shame that go with that. Yeah, those are specific sensations in the body and now. It’s called up objectification. What it is, is taking this a morphus sensation that we’ve been working hard to not feel to not experience not express. And we can imagine it or experience it as an object. So some people might see it, or some people might feel it. It feels like a rock in my belly. It feels like this contracted fist in my belly. Well, now that it’s some kind of an object, we can interact with it, we can acknowledge its presence. We can even do an inner dialogue with it. And we can find some way to externalize or express it. There’s some reason we didn’t express that at the time, it was painful. It was dangerous, I mean, Tablas talking about anger. So anger can feel so dangerous, that we’re going to hurt somebody with it right. And so we don’t express it, and then we hurt ourselves with it. internalized anger really causes physical problems, right. And so it’s a natural emotion that we all experience at times. And the key is to acknowledge the I, I feel angry. Where do I feel it in my body, I feel it in my belly, I feel it in my throat or my chest. How’s it feel there, it feels like a volcano, it feels like the explosion, it feels like a red hot something. Right. And so now we can sort of get our hands on it, we can find a way to safely externalize it to express it, we blast it out as energy. say the words write them, you know, but it just just let it and then once there’s less anger, I understand people don’t, I don’t want to act on the anger I feel and I hurt myself or someone else. But I’ve learned not to swallow it not to hold it in, I need to express it. A good way for me is to stand at the seaside and just shout into the ocean. Ocean can absorb it, you know, it’s expressed, it’s not in my body anymore, and then there’s some more space, then I can do something. replace it with something that’s beautiful. I’ve always been

Guy 31:56
a great motivator sometimes for me to move me out of my whatever it needs to be at NASDAQ express it put me on a project projectory of heart and based intention anyway, I found over the over time, you know, to move them? Yeah, I’m curious as well, before I move on to number four, which I’m always fascinated with. You find that most CRF raise this because all the challenges and difficulties that we have in our life. Especially if we’re not that aware of this work at first we can, there’s a lot of blame or holding on and us buying from a deeper soul level that they are there to teach us a lesson to come to these realizations within ourselves to then be able to express ourselves on a deeper level.

Paul 33:03
No, so say it again, anger?

Guy 33:05
and any So anyway, any any emotion that we hold on to that we have. And if we’re not aware of this work, so incidences and things that happen in our life, that can create as holding on to trauma as we then released this, and move on it and we’re able to reflect back at a deeper level as it is are these happenings for us or to us for a reason to help teach us and support as we move on our journey through life? Yeah, no, sorry.

Paul 33:48
That’s a big question. Absolutely, no, no. And there, there are layers to it, really. But yes, any pain is something trying to get our attention. And our instinct or our learned behavior is is to ignore it anesthetize it, pull away from it. And we need to do exactly the opposite thing. We need to, to go towards it, we need to engage it, we need to enter into a relationship with it, not pretend it’s not there and not just try to make it go away. Because there’s a lesson there’s something it’s asking for. There’s something in it that we need to listen to. And I’ve seen many, many, many times working with people in in chronic pain, working with people in chronic pain, that once they got the message, it didn’t hurt anymore, whether it was emotional pain or physical pain. It’s the body’s way of getting our attention, really. And if we just listened to it, sometimes just listening to It’s enough it doesn’t have have to be so loud, it doesn’t have to be so intense because now it’s got our attention. And now we can start to learn from it. And on a on a bigger level, what I see and work a lot with people on our soul lessons. So we have lessons in a lifetime that we’re trying to improve our personality or psyche or our character, right, we’re trying to refine ourselves, but our souls incarnate, multiple times, because the soul is working on refining itself, learning and growing also, I used to think the soul is perfect. And it’s not that I believe there’s something perfect in the soul. But the soul is here, as much as we come to help. We’re also here to learn and grow. And just as human beings hold certain beliefs, so do souls. And all too often, a soul in these sessions will find that holds the belief that suffering is the best way to learn. Or I have to suffer in order to learn. And then they suffer. And what guides are telling souls that hold this belief is you can learn through your suffering, I learned through being electrocuted. But there are many ways to learn. You don’t have to suffer to learn. I think when there’s a tragedy, when there’s a loss, when there’s a trauma, yes, we need to do our best to learn from it. First, we need to survive it right. And then and then we do our best to learn from it. It’s a it’s an opportunity, it can be your demise, or it can be your, your, your you’re growing and going on. even stronger. Right. But I think one of the fundamental issues or challenges in many of us is a underlying belief that somehow through suffering, that we need, that we can only learn through suffering, or that we have to learn through suffering, and it isn’t true. We can learn from suffering. But there are many more ways to do it. I think that the universe, the our own soul, even or our guides, are trying to help us moving on, they’re not realized that so encouraging, after

Guy 37:36
we’ve certainly been asked in the past, do I need to suffer to make this body this work? You know what it’s like? Not at all, you know, we can we can proactively move in this and just keep evolving and expanding from a much more beautiful place? Well, I am going to move on to the fourth layer that you have you and the inner child. And what what does that term even mean? When it comes to this work?

Paul 38:19
Again, from my perspective, there are two aspects if you will, of our younger self, our inner child, there’s the Wounded Child, there’s the part of us that’s somehow stuck in the past, from some disappointment, hurts, wounds, trauma, and, and continues to sort of live in that energy and in that experience, that that is in need of what we call re parenting it’s in need of being basically rescued, loved, made to feel safe, loved and wanted. There’s a whole list in the book of some of the phrases some of the things that child self is in need of hearing your love needed wanted or some of the safe love needed and wanted are some of the big ones. And the other aspect of inner child is the one that I call the Wonder child that’s the it’s the intact child. It’s It’s It’s something you probably see in your child. there’s a there’s a wonderment, there’s a wisdom, there’s a curiosity, there’s a playfulness, there’s a spontaneity and, and often this gets sort of left behind. We prematurely adopt responsibility and caretaking kind of try to become an adult or a parent when we’re we’re way too young for that. And we lose some of the playfulness of the child and and reconnecting with the child self that is spontaneous and playful. Creative is so transformative and healing. It’s not Dead or gone, but it’s often kind of abandoned or we just lost touch with it. And the inner child, especially the Wonder child is much closer to the authentic self, to the core self, to, to our self, before we went through a lot of the experiences we’ve had in our life, it’s more of the original self, and that child self is really important, I believe, because it’s a tremendous resource that can help us continue the journey inward. I love boards that soul lessons towards that core self.

Guy 40:38
It makes me think I used to live was one of my best mates when we were rooming years ago, and he worked in IT. And I always still see this to this day. This is like 15 years ago, and on his screensaver on his PC, Windows Windows computer used to like to stand by the words What if used to come up, and they would rotate. And I would see that every morning because he’d go to bed, I’d get up into the kitchen the morning and see this. And it always passed that curiosity like well, what if of all the possibilities that are out there? And they can explore that as opposed to just shutting down to the that and then not even looking at what possibilities are and then going into worst case scenario, you know? And it certainly served me well, over the years. I have in that mantra embedded in me. Yeah. Absolutely. Now, what if, yeah, Fifth layer.

Paul 41:42
It’s good one. Pa, I got to remember that one. Yep. So we have different parts or aspects of our psyche. So some would call them archetypes. And it’s related. But there are different parts of ourself, in play all the time. And so once you’re more out of your mind, and your consciousness is expanded, and you’ve worked through some of the emotions, and connect, not that always, always goes in the same order, but made contact with the inner child, the child is a part of ourself too. But there are some real key parts that that can be problematic. And that we all struggle with, I believe, and one of those parts is the inner critic. Right? So it’s that inner voice that says, you could have should have done that better, or you never do that good enough. Or sometimes the inner critic will adopt a critical voice of a parent or a teacher, preacher, someone external, that’s even more troublesome. But inner critics, original intent or intention is a part of us to ensure that we do our best. But as it becomes overly critical, it kind of takes on a life of its own, and it ends up wearing us down, it ends up eroding self esteem, esteem, the very thing that it’s there to prevent. And so there’s a process I’ll take people through, it’s in the book that people can do for themselves is, is to make contact with the inner critic. And again, into into relationship with it, have a dialogue with it, ask what its purposes, when it came into being what made it necessary, why it’s so harsh. And the key or the intention is to have the inner critic realize that it’s causing harm by being so critical. And to help it change how it does its job. I wanted to become a cheerleader. I wanted to become an inner advocate mentioned, if you had a voice say, good job. You know, it’s it’s like, if you tell a child, they’re doing it wrong all the time, they lose the confidence, right? It really destroys the child. But if you tell it and of course we need to teach children. But if you tell a child Good job, if you acknowledge them, and encourage them, they’ll blossom. Right? So it’s the same thing with self, this inner critic wearing us down needs to realize it can support us, and there’s a process for doing that. Another part that I think is really important is the Protector. We all have a part that’s active and us who’s whose purpose really is to keep us safe. Right? But how it’s doing that often causes trouble. Right? It makes sure I don’t go into a relationship. It makes sure I don’t become To famous, it makes sure that it wants to keep us safe. But it really limits us It ends up often causing some of the very, very things, it’s there to prevent, causing harm and, and these parts don’t intend harm. They’re not evil, wanting to destroy us or damage us, but from a limited kind of realm of choices, learned early on how to do their job in a way that ends up being harmful. And once that part understands that its actions are causing harm, it won’t do that anymore. And we just need need to give it something I think, knew or something else to do. Yeah, no, I

Guy 45:47
think everyone listening and helpful. Hit that, though. So that’s that part, I think about them. I think about even just myself on my own journey, and has put myself out there more and got involved in this work more and then to help other people and serve as well. I’m always hitting those parts of myself, you know, is that Oh, there’s a new aspect that I didn’t see there. Let’s let’s create that relationship with it. What’s going on here? and work with it? Otherwise? I didn’t. So long, I unconsciously didn’t realize I was just staying in a certain parameter that I had identified myself with. And I would never go up beyond that. No, because the those parts are holding me back the critic and the survivors. Yeah.

Paul 46:45
Exactly. And there are many parts. I mean, someone suffers with anxiety, for instance, they can work with the anxious one. You know, you don’t want to feel anxious, you try to fight it, you tell yourself Calm down, I say connect with the anxious one, have a dialogue? What’s his concern? What’s it need? Right. And it’s really, a direct way of dealing with anxiety is to talk with the anxious one. And then while there’s a practice in the beginning of the book about safe place, and working with turning down the emergency warning system in the control room of the mind that, you know, when we have events that we have to stay on alert to stay safe, that emergency warning system gets over developed, if you will, it becomes too sensitive, it’s and, and beautiful, there’s a technique to turn down stone into more more conflict,

Guy 47:41
baggage to do.

Paul 47:52
Now, for sure. So in short, we, knowingly or unknowingly and often out of loyalty, take on certain beliefs, whether it’s conscious or not, like not enough. So when I was young parents were divorced mothers working two, three jobs. The not enough time, not enough money, but not enough, wasn’t something I believe she ever really said to us. But it was pretty clear, I really absorbed that I took that on. I live with this belief of not enough. That was one of the bags that I carried from from my early childhood. Not enough. Not enough money, not enough time and energy, not enough, not enough, I’m not enough. And so there’s a process that you can do to identify what some of those beliefs some of that baggage is guilt, shame, anger, you know, we absorb it from our parents, we absorb it from our home, we absorb it from our, our community, we absorb it from our ancestors. Right, there’s guilt that can be passed down. Even if you don’t know the stories you inherited. That’s what we also call it ancestral healing. And so the first process with the baggage is to say, this guilt, the shame, this anger, this, whatever it is, I’m carrying for you. We start with the parents usually can be a sibling or someone in our close circle. And we say well, with love and respect because we don’t want to do in anger. We don’t want to cause harm. But with love and respect. I return this to you. I’ve carried it for most of my life and believed it was mine but it isn’t mine. And I give it back to you. I returned it to you and energetically return it and we tell the one where returning it to, that they can give it back to whoever they got it from. So it can go back to source, we don’t just release it into the universe, but we release it back to the person that came from, and tell them that they can return it to whoever they got it from. And in this way, we’re accomplishing healing and release for many more people than the one person working with one person doing the practice in the book. So it has a kind of a domino effect. So, yeah, it really, and you can feel it, when you do it, you can feel it going all the way back. And, and there’s, there’s cultural baggage, too, right? Each country or ethnicity carries certain baggage as well. And so that can go back pretty far. And the reverse is true, too. There are many gifts from our ancestors, that we can receive, once we’ve given some baggage back, and we can receive those gifts, those creativity, that inspiration, certain powers, talents, even might be playing music, or something that we can receive from our great ancestors as well. There’s another version of it to stop me from talking too much. That often, children, you know, we’re picking stuff up in the womb, too. By the way, before we’re born, we’re already absorbing this, we’re carrying this stuff from them, I have traced so many cases of anxiety, and panic attacks back to pre birth. And that’s why it’s so hard to resolve. Sometimes it’s, it’s pre verbal, or it’s pre birth. And no one knows to look there, you know,

Guy 51:50
but to kind of say that because even my mum, my mum is watching the show, and there’s no doubt she’ll get to a point where she will watch the show Hi, Mum. But Petra took me through a regression. And, and I was saying, and I felt her anxiety and her worry, financial worry at the time, in that moment, and it was the first time and this is only going back six months or whatever. And, and I was able to release that and send it back. Beyond the moment and back to source. It was incredible. And I felt a shift. You know, and never in a million years would have thought of No, no. Yes. Yeah, it’s remarkable. Later man,

Paul 52:44
in our lives, so influences us. For sure. So there are different ways to access inner wisdom. And this, this is a specific one, where we get out of our mind, go through a heart go through the layers, and make contact with the wise one within the wise woman within the wise man within, right doesn’t have to be gender. Although there there are more masculine and more feminine energies. But it’s a way to in a somewhat personified way, connect with this wise one, within and it when someone walks through my door at my clinic, and I do this session with them, they walk out a transformed person. It’s not something I gave to them or did to them. But it’s something I helped them find within themselves. And I love that more than anything is that it’s so empowering. To know that, ah, I don’t have to just think about my problems or try to figure out a solution to them. I don’t have to go to a guru or a priest or someone else. But I can actually find a place with inside myself to connect with real wisdom and guidance that I can then use my good mental mind to figure out okay, now what do I do about this? But the answer comes from not another person and not from my brain, but from a source of wisdom within that I believe is connected to the all and so it’s a very practical way of connecting with that and I think changing this sort of upside down pattern that we have in our lives of I think that I feel and I know, I know. Yeah, I feel beautiful and I think

Guy 54:52
number eight Soul Memory Yes, slip it Yeah,

Paul 55:11
I practice past life regression for a long time before I met Michael Newton, and was introduced to the life between life work. And one of the parts of the methodology that he developed was to do past life, by going through childhood wounds, and past life. And I hadn’t been going, I’ve just been inducing and going straight to pass live right. And, and when you regress, from childhood to in utero to in the womb, subconscious mind doesn’t exist, personality hasn’t developed, there’s some indications of it. But what you have there is soul mind you have the consciousness of the soul, that’s just beginning the process of incarnation. And it’s a place where you can regress back to, to reconnect with that more authentic soul consciousness before it is integrated into the human mind. And before it’s influenced by the human personality. And so, I had someone who came to me from buenos aires that, that was a young single mother, really, really worn down by life and was, I think the only reason she hadn’t ended her life was that she had this young daughter that she didn’t want to do that too. But she was close, not working anyway. regressing her back in the womb. She is this amazingly, enthusiastic, curious, powerful soul coming into this body. And she was able to reconnect with that true self, that soul nature that was full of power and a doozy of an excitement. And wake that up again, remember that not just remember, but re experienced, that’s who she is. And she wrote me six months later and said, life is great. I’m working again. I’m in such a better place, you know, and again, it wasn’t something I did to her for her. But I facilitated her getting there and just remembering re experiencing, reconnecting with her soul consciousness really. So Soul Memory. I think most of us want to know why am I here? What am I here to learn? What am I here to do? We all have some idea of concept of add

Guy 57:52
a way to remember it makes me think of your quote, remember who you are guided and directed when we can do that. And then on the ninth layer, we got soul essence.

Paul 58:15
So I think for me, the Wise One within is very connected with that soul essence. But the salt for me the soul and when I first contacted my soul essence, it was really more of a seemed like a flame. And as I approached it, it grew bigger is acknowledged that it grew bigger. And so it was less personified, if you will, it wasn’t like a being or a person like the wise woman or wise man could be. It was just this inner light that I recognized I had well basically put it away for safekeeping early on, because life and family felt threatening to me. And so I said, No, you’re not going to get that from me. I’m going to keep it safe. And keeping it safe. I lost touch with it over time. And this was a reunion this was a Yeah, reunion. And I went into that flame it enveloped me. And it just felt like it was able to begin burning away those layers that hidden crusted it that it had hidden that that had diminished it in some way. And I really felt a kind of a flame dancing flame, if you will, that carried on for days and I think ever since I think ever since then has been working to raise consciousness in me and others and has been working to break through those crusts amazing beliefs and protections and, and survival strategies. Really. That’s all essence. And that’s my goal, really, is to get people back there to remember that that’s there. I’m not the things people said to me or did to me are some of the difficult experiences out there my experiences, again, powerful. This is why, on my own, I just keep living my

Guy 1:00:19
life who I really was it so much fear evaporated from my life wasn’t funny, like instantaneously and I started to see things from a different vantage point. And you start to make different decisions based on this place. And it’s, and then you throw in the Wonder child there and it’s incredible. You know, it is pollicis amazing. You’ve released this book, what is your hope for this book? What is your intention?

Paul 1:01:01
Well, I’d love to see it in the hands of as many people as possible because it teaches people how to do a lot of this for themselves. I mean, of course I do sessions, of course, I do workshops, but and there are places where people will get stuck. I know I did it and do. But I really wanted to want to put as much of this in people’s hands for them to do with themselves so that especially people that might not be able to attend a workshop or individual session. Here it is. It’s not a secret. People say well, how come you telling everyone I told him the secrets of what you do? Because I want it out. There’s

Guy 1:01:40
so much I want them. So happy that you’ve put something together like this and put it out to the world. But I am I have one more question that I asked everyone on the show. And and that is with everything we’ve covered today. What would you leave on listeners to ponder on?

Paul 1:02:17
I’ll share the message I received when I was out of body and during my near death experience and and that was Listen. Listen. Listen to your heart. Listen to your soul. Listen to spirit. Listen, and everything. It’s an absence of learning to listen, and I believe you’re

Guy 1:02:43
really here. Wait, if I listen to the show notes, where’s the best place to send everyone if you want to grab a copy, Paul? Thank you.

Paul 1:03:00
It is on Audible and on Audible. There’s a professional reader. Great. Tom parks did a great job reading it. But the practices I read so it’s in my voice. We wanted to do that because we wanted the tone and the pace, right? So it’s really guiding people through the practices rather than just having to do them for themselves in the prep book. But it’s at all booksellers it’s on Amazon everywhere. today. It was released in Europe and around the world. July or June 1 it was released in the US. So it’s available almost everywhere now. It is Spanish boom at the UK pretty safe.

Guy 1:03:36
I have no doubt. So huge success. And I just want to thank you for everything. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for all that you do. And yeah, there’s there’s so much I could learn from you. It’s not funny, and I really appreciate you giving us your time today. And being on there. Thanks. You’re welcome.

Paul 1:04:06
Pleasure. It’s an honor. You have a great show. You have great speakers. Great, great people interviewing. Thanks for doing what you do. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me.