#225 We all believe that we are unique beings with our own unique personalities, characteristics, talents, gifts, thoughts, and feelings. We believe we have control over our lives and our futures. When we make mistakes or fall short in any way, we think that there’s something very obviously wrong with us. That we don’t have what it takes and we just don’t measure up.
In this episode, my guest will teach you the truth behind the secret insecurities, beliefs, emotions, and invisible patterns that drive your behavior. Her name is Judy Wilkins-Smith, and she’s a systemic coach, organizational patterns expert and author who specializes in this work.
You’re going to discover that many of the recurring problems and difficulties in your life begin with your ancestors. Yes. You heard me right. Your ancestors. What do my great-grandparents have to do with my current struggles you ask? The answer lies in the enlightening insights Judy had to share so please stay tuned. And if it all resonates with you at all, share it with a friend. Cheers.
If you enjoyed this podcast, you may also like: Creating Reality Shifts & The 9 Levels Of Consciousness | Cynthia Larson
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About Judy Wilkins-Smith: Judy is a highly regarded organizational, individual and family patterns expert, systemic coach, trainer, facilitator, thought partner, leadership conference and motivational speaker and founder of System Dynamics for Individuals & Organizations. She has 18 years expertise in assisting high performance individuals, Fortune 500 executives and their teams as well as legacy families, to break limiting cycles and reframe challenges into lasting breakthroughs and peak performance.
Passionate about visionary leadership, personal transformation, and positive, accelerated, global change, Judy uses her ability to understand critical dynamics in personal and organizational systems and the points at which they intersect, to create growth and success. She collaborates with decision makers to implement innovative, ‘whole system’ design elements, ensuring balance, appetite for excellence, passion and sustained success.
Visionary leadership and personal transformation lead Judy’s work. She uses the systemic dynamics approach along with a dimensional approach called constellations, or interactive mapping, to map out issues and connect the dots. Participants can literally see and acknowledge old patterns, recognize their purpose and create a new path. Then, Judy shows you how to flip limiting cycles into breakthrough performance–personal and professional. It’s truly life-changing.
Let it in with Judy Wilkins Smith
►Audio Version:
Key Points Discussed:
- Healing Ancestral Trauma (00:00)
- The world’s first constellations meditation created by Judy and Barry Goldstein (01:10)
- Teaching people to see the other half of the language they never knew they had (04:07)
- Her journey of overcoming the parts of herself that she inherited and how it led to her life-changing work (07:17)
- Breaking the cycle but creating the change: Tackling the multigenerational patterns that have been affecting your life (09:30)
- Are you sick and tired? Here’s how to embark on your transformation journey (17:31)
- How your unresolved emotions manifest into physical ailments (28:05)
- Understanding what metapatterns are and how they affect us (31:02)
- Going on an adventure that will finally awaken you (35:01)
- Embracing the fact that who you are is the latest in a long line of love letters (41:02)
Mentioned in this episode:
- Constellations Meditations – https://judywilkins-smith.com/products/
- Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint By Judy Wilkins-Smith – https://www.amazon.com/Decoding-Your-Emotional-Blueprint-Multigenerational-ebook/dp/B09JS9RXBV
How to Contact Judy Wilkins-Smith:
- Website – https://judywilkins-smith.com/
- Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/judywilkinssmith/
- Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/judywilkinssmith/
About me:
My Instagram:
www.instagram.com/guyhlawrence/?hl=en
My website:
www.guylawrence.com.au
www.liveinflow.co
TRANSCRIPT
Please note, this is an automated transcript so it is not 100% accurate.
Guy (00:11):
There we go. We are recording Judy. Welcome to the podcast.
Judy (00:14):
Thank you so much. It is lovely to see you halfway around the world.
Guy (00:19):
I, I deeply appreciate you coming on. I know we were just chatting off air slightly, but I stumbled across your work through, uh, Barry Goldstein, who I had on the podcast a while back.
Judy (00:30):
I love Barry. Yeah.
Guy (00:32):
He’s a beautiful soul. And I saw him that you’d been collaborating and I was like, oh, who’s Judy. You know? So I, I went and stalked you for a little while and then, uh, and then reached out. So I really appreciate you being here, Judy.
Judy (00:45):
Thank you. Yeah, he and I actually created two meditations. The meditation, it’s a constellations meditation, which is a world first. So it takes you all the way through a constellation and he did all of yep. Uh, he did all of the music and the producing for me and I laid down the track and he was just, he is incredible to work with.
Guy (01:06):
Wow. You know, you’ve opened up a question already, which I wasn’t gonna go into, but it’s like, well, what is a constellation and why is that meditation? The world’s first in there.
Judy (01:17):
Yeah. Um, so a constellation is really a 3d image. So what it’s, it’s the breakthrough piece of this work? What we do is you may come to see me and, uh, you say I I’ve always been sad. So we want to look at where does the sadness come from? Because in systemic work, we know you don’t just inherit physical DNA. You also inherit emotional DNA. So often your sadness is not your sadness, but you’re holding onto it as though it were so to explore that we may say, well, let’s have a look at you, mom, dad, sister, brother. And we pick live representatives for each one of those and set them up in the room the way it is for you. When you think about this issue. So now you’ve got this spatial picture and because I can then start asking questions about, well, why are they so close?
Judy (02:09):
Why are they more distant? Why is that not engaged? Why is mom in the middle of things? You start to have these interactive ahas and insights, and we explore your limiting language and you are sadness. And then see, so why is this pattern here now? What wants to stop? And what is the pattern that’s trying to start through you and with a series of dialogues and movements, it then becomes an embodied experience and a multisensory one because you’re seeing it, hearing it, feeling it, getting it, grounding it. And so this becomes that, that transformational moment, and you begin to rewire. So why is this a world first? Because there have been plenty of meditations, but people will say, I can’t get to you now at live event. How am I going to experience one? So I got together with Barry and I said, this is what I do. And, uh, I ed an entire constellation. So it’s a guided meditation. There are two, one of the mother and one of the father and each one takes you into the line. For example, of the mother, all the way back to the beginning, then pulls you back in and gives you the opportunity to look at Aness and that in the moment and the present and the same for the father. So world first
Guy (03:34):
Incredible. Congratulations. Is that available yet? Is that out or
Judy (03:38):
It is it’s on my website. It is available. Yeah.
Guy (03:41):
Yeah. Amazing. I will definitely take it for a, um, a listen that’s
Judy (03:45):
For sure. It’s Barry did an amazing, amazing job. And like I say, he’s one of those people. If, if Barry produces you, you’re in such good hands. He’s in. He’s great.
Guy (03:57):
Yeah, no, he is a beautiful soul and it, it sounds incredible what you, all the work you do. And that’s why I was so excited to have you on duty. And I always ask everyone on the show, cuz it, I think it it’s a great way to distill it down. But like, if you were at a intimate dinner party and you sat next to a stranger and they asked you what you did for a living, what would you say? Because there’s so much complexity to it.
Judy (04:21):
I would say I teach people to see the other half of the language that they never knew they had. So what I mean by that is we’re all taught that we should suffer. Well, liver suffering life die nicely and you get seat L 34 at the top when you go there, which is not the truth. But what we’re not taught is the language of capability, possibility how much we can do. And so by looking, and then the other thing I teach is there’s no such thing as a train smash, you’re not a train smash. There is no train, smash, everything there is there for you. It’s in service of you. And all I do is I teach people how to look at their junk pile, find the gems that are there and their lives. One new thought, one new, one new at that’s
Guy (05:19):
When I was on your website, Judy and I wrote this down, cuz I loved it mate. And it says, how big are you willing to be straight at the straight at the caption? And I think the question I have for you then H how much potential are we not allowing ourselves or to express the full body of ourselves
Judy (05:38):
A lot, a lot, a lot. So the, the reason I ask that question is because we’re tied into our family systems. That’s the way we are. It’s the way we belong. And so if the family says, everybody should play small, we play small. If every, everybody says don’t have too much money, we don’t have too much money. So we buy very deeply into that. And we’re master magicians. What we tell ourselves and believe with our heart and our gut becomes our truth. So not a very smart thing to do. We are locking down way much of who we are, but the reason I ask the question is people will invariably say to me, well, that’s a little egotistical. And I say to the day, you agree to be the biggest version of yourself is the humble day of your life. It is the first time that you agree to take responsibility for creating a full life. And you are now in service of the universe.
Guy (06:41):
I love it. Absolutely love it. I can so relate. And so it gives me goosebumps, Judy, honestly, because when I, when I was telling you, I know how I sold my out my company in 2018, it was literally that question in a different way. I was asking myself, well, how far am I? I used to say, how far am I willing to lean in to see the full expression of myself? Yeah. And, and each day it would terrify me and excite me all at once. And which
Judy (07:06):
Is great,
Guy (07:08):
Right?
Judy (07:09):
Yes, because with, with the terrifying and the mystical meat, the incredible is bound to happen. Mm
Guy (07:16):
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. What about on your journey? I’m curious with all this work, were there obviously inherited, um, parts of yourself that you had to overcome through your journey to then coming to teach this work? What did that look like for you?
Judy (07:37):
Yeah, it was actually that the odd thing, because people I have the gift and it sounds odd, but I have the gift of some awful things that turned out to be rather amazing. So what happened was we moved to the us and my father was killed. And that, that sort of was a huge jot because he was this great big six foot, four beautiful Irishman who was the absolute patriarch of the family. And, um, a lot of that then fell to me. We were busy with immigration. There was a whole lot going on and it was either either I’m gonna write books or I’m going to go crazy. So I decided writing books was probably a better option. And, uh, I started writing books that led me to someone who was doing some of this work. And he said, come learn my work and I’ll help you with a book.
Judy (08:28):
So I went to learn the work and got zero help with the book, by the way, and, uh, started this journey and it just kept going. And then one day somebody said to me, well, of course you could do it. And I said, why? And they said, because it comes from South Africa. Well, I didn’t know that, but stranger still was it’s based on the Zulu tribe. Beringer went to go and tame the Zulu. And he says the Zulu tamed him. And what, what he discovered was they didn’t have neurosis because every time something went wrong, they would go looking in the family system to see what was off. So they knew that the family system was important. Well, what makes it even odder is I worked in a teaching hospital for years. And when I left the person who gave my farewell speech was Azulu gentleman. And he said, you may be leaving us, but you will find a way to represent us in the world. And I laughed and now I do every day.
Guy (09:29):
Wow. I gotcha. Okay. So you’ve got decoding your emotional blueprint, right? With the, the latest book that come out, a powerful guide to transformation through disentangling multi-generational patterns. And you say those, um, patterns are inherited. Is that, would that be right? Yeah. So when I was contemplating coming on, uh, you want coming on the podcast this morning. I was thinking, when you say inherited, cuz when I was worked in the fitness industry, we had a saying that the person always inherited the cookbook, meaning they pick up the habits of, you know, the way they’ve been taught to eat as, as a and so forth. And, and for us, one of the biggest challenges was trying to break the pattern of the way they ate to support their, their health journey as well. Right.
Judy (10:17):
Right.
Guy (10:19):
But when, when from your perspective, and I’d love to know if there’s science on this, when we say inherited in the DNA as well, is it from a way we’re being taught or is it physically getting passed through each birth into the DNA as well? Both.
Judy (10:36):
But so here’s, here’s what we know. We know that epigenetically they’ve, they’ve done a lot of studies on, on this kind of work. And what we now know is if you look at something like the great Dutch hunger winter, there was a, a, a city that was completely surrounded by the Germans because they had supported the resistance. And for three months there was no food, no water. They lived off what they could find. And what happened was they then, because it was an intact group, they studied it and found that the mothers who’d been pregnant with children at the time, not only had eating disorders, which you would expect, but that those markers were being activated on the genes of their children and then their children and their children. And we saw this with a Holocaust and we’ve seen it again with the nine 11 studies where pregnant women have children with PTSD, mark, uh, PTSD markers that are elevated.
Judy (11:32):
So we now know that there, if there’s a significant event, whatever it is for you, and there’s an imprint on the system, it becomes the blueprint for generations of behavior. And it just keeps echoing through. Add to that exactly what you, you said, which was great. Grandmother goes into shock because she loses seven children and has no emotion. Grandmother looks at great grandmother and goes, we don’t have emotion and internalizes that and has no emotion. Mom looks at grandmother and goes, oh, or, or her mom, we don’t have emotions. And there’s a child who comes to see me as a client and says, I dunno why I have no emotions. And then when we work begins to cry and can’t stop and says, what’s happening to me. And the answer to that is you’re crying four generations worth of emotions.
Guy (12:27):
Wow.
Guy (12:30):
So not so let me, I just wanna repeat this just for the listeners as well. And as I, I process a bit slow sometimes Judy, but so to get this right, we are not only then inheriting it through, like you say, echoing down through each generation because the traumatic event that might have happened four generations ago. Right. But because let’s say we’re born into this world and you know, I’ve had Bruce Lipton on the podcast multiple times talk about epigenetics and the environment and how the first, you know, through, through, even from the conception all the way to the first seven years are crucial in our development. So if we are actually then growing up an environment with a mum has got a, a belief as well that I can’t express emotion. So not only are we getting it echoed through the DNA, but we are then getting it reinforced by the behaviors that we are actually living in
Judy (13:23):
Exactly the language, the thoughts, the feelings, the actions. So it’s coming through, but here’s the kicker. And this is what most people miss. It’s there for a reason. It’s your clue to your destiny. You don’t have a fate unless you choose that right there. When that no emotion has echoed all the way through to you. It’s saying to you, I need to rest. You need to start another pattern. And that pattern saying, I’m here. Just look at me, just look at me. So the one that’s echoed through becomes the wisdom of the ancients and the one that’s trying to start becomes the legacy of the children.
Guy (14:06):
Wow. So if we start becoming aware of this work, that even somebody listening to this podcast today and it’s like, well, I’m been feeling this my entire life. And I just can’t then it’s almost like we have the opportunity to, to break the cycle. And from that, there’s a deeper meaning. Even I always look at our souls work as well. That there’s something much far greater.
Judy (14:33):
Yeah, yeah. That you break
Guy (14:34):
The that’s allowing us to breaking the cycle.
Judy (14:37):
Yeah. You’re breaking the cycle, but you’re creating the change. You’re the change agent. You’re now writing the chapter that only you can write and that the system has been waiting for. It keeps offering that pattern over and over again, waiting for somebody to go, but it could be this. And that’s the turn that’s that is Gem’s waiting to become the gift that nobody is seeing
Guy (15:07):
To see that as the gift and go from there, then you must, I mean, you must see this all the time, but I get this question all the time. And I just think about me. I had to actually move and leave and go kind of wander the world like a lost soul for 10 years to find my way back to my, my heart and my soul and honor that moving forward. And you know, at a very young age, at 1819, I just didn’t have the guidance or the capability to understand what was happening. But looking back, I wanted to break that pattern in some respect.
Judy (15:44):
Right. Right.
Guy (15:46):
You know, so with, when people come to work with you surely there must be a, um, a concern or a question around, well, my family don’t want to change. Nobody. My friends don’t want me to change. Nobody wants to see me change. They all think I’m losing the plot because I’m now starting to talk about emotional inheritance DNA and what you say
Judy (16:07):
To that all the time. And what I, what they typically say is, okay, so I’m here at, I’m gonna do the work, but you have to know nobody else around me is going to do it because they they’re gonna think I’m, I’m crazy. And I say to them, it’s fine. A system works this way. One person changes and now everything else has to adjust. It cannot stay the same to relate. Everything has to adjust. It may not know it at the time, but it’s busy adjusting. And they say, well, that’s fine, but you will never see my family here. And then I see one and then I see two, and then I see three. And before you know, it they’ve all come in. And, and uh, our said to, so, so what made you come well, she changed and we wanted to know what that was about, but it really is. It’s just, it takes one. And, and of course the other thing I will say when people come to a live event is I say them, please, when you go home, do not go and verbally vomit all over. Everybody just, just be you and let it unfold. And they will see the difference. And then you’ll get that whole, when Harry met Sally thing where she’s doing the sandwich thing and everybody’s going, well, I want what she’s eating. That’s what happens.
Guy (17:27):
Yeah. They see you starting to drink the Koolaid once. Some basically isn’t it
Judy (17:31):
Very much.
Guy (17:32):
So when you work with people, then cuz you’ve mentioned you work with groups and individuals with this work. Obviously the first thing person has to become aware that this work exists and what’s the next step for them. Then do you find, this is a long process to interject, you know? And, and like, um, there’s a, there’s a consistency to it. Or do you find once you get to the, the route, you know, there’s so many questions I don’t ask to file
Judy (17:59):
Too many. Sure. No, no, you’re fine. So, so what happens is it’s, it’s different for different people. For some people, it can take six months to a year to fully unfold. For some people. I always say the people who come to me where they’re at the point of I’m tired, I’m sick and tired. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’ve run out of excuses. I’m, I’m just here. Those are often the people who get this profound insight in the moment and you can see it rewiring in the moment and it happens often. And um, what they walk away with is, is a very big switch. And frequently they’ll come and say, I’ve been working on that for 20 years. How is it possible that it’s shifted in one hour? And it does because it’s that whole embodied experience. And it’s because we also really create the container for that to be possible. So people feel safe. They can now complete conversations. They couldn’t before they can look at something and not feel like their, their crackers. They, they learn. And I teach it because of that. I teach it very, very logically. So I teach this in big companies in fortune 500 companies. So I teach it super logically so that people can understand it once they understand the logic, the rest comes in quite naturally.
Guy (19:25):
Gotcha. How, how would you teach a big corporate company then? Because obviously, like you said, the logic is behind it and how would that apply to a company? Are you still working with the individual or are you working more with the cult company culture?
Judy (19:39):
It depends both. Both. Not either all. So what happens is I teach them the three basic tenets of systemic work. It doesn’t matter what your issue is it or resolve into one of those three basic principles? Are we good? Yes. Okay. Now what we are gonna do is have a look at the issue your company’s got. And I had a CFO who said to me, and we’re not doing that constellation stuff. And I said, no, we won’t do constellation. So we sat down and I said to tell me, the problem told me the problem. We identified all the components of the issue. And so I said to, okay, I’m a really visual person. So we’re going to write each component on a piece of paper and give it an arrow so I can see, and then we’re gonna put it on the floor. So you can give me a, a spatial representation of what that is. So it puts it down on the floor. And I said to him, I started asking questions. Is that team always off to one side? Oh yeah. Well what about them? No, they’re closer. So he brought the papers in and about two hours in, he said, I’ve solved the problem. I know what it’s. And then he turned around and he said to me, that was a constellation, wasn’t it? And I said, yeah, kinda was. So it’s, it’s really respecting the corporate language, speaking it their way, getting to the logical piece and then saying to him.
Judy (20:59):
And I said, and that’s what it,
Guy (21:05):
What is the catalyst for the, the change? So when like, there’s that moment of, when you say there’s a realization, if we we’re breaking an ancestral pattern that we’ve, that could be gone for four or five, who knows how many generations, when you think, when you think about the, the, the, the amount of years and the amount of lifetimes and, and things that have passed on, it’s quite remarkable when you look back upon that. And there’s that moment where we, we we’re, we’re actually the change maker for, for, for what’s to come. What, what is the catalyst to then to creating that different direction in life? Is it, is it simply bringing awareness to it or is it, how does it
Judy (21:52):
Experie? So there are a couple of things. Yeah. What I look at is I, I ask the person, what is it that you’re looking for? And sometimes they’re not really sure, but they know the sort of general direction. They can usually tell me what they’re not looking for. And we set that up and I start to ask questions and I’m very mindful of the language because we are tackling on ourselves all day long. Our language is very unique. It’s specific to us as an individual and specific to our family systems, highly unique. And so what I’ll do is, uh, I listen to the language and I’ll give you an example. I had a, a lady come in who said, I want to belong to my family. And I want to know I belong. And I don’t feel like that I’ll do the piece of work, but I have to do it with my back to the group because I’m so ashamed.
Judy (22:42):
So I said to what’s the shame I can’t belong. She says, you know, growing up, my family only ever gave me just little drops of love, little drops of love. And she said, my they’re all very non-emotional. Um, my mother, my father, my brother is, is the same, no emotion. I’m emotional. So said to, are you married? Yes. Do you have children? Yes. Uh, do you give them lots of love? Oh yes. Oh yes. So tell me about your mom and dad. And, uh, she said, well, they, they were survivors of the Holocaust. And I said to her stop, could they express emotion? Or was it too dangerous? And she said, oh, no, it was very dangerous. They, they would’ve been killed. So I said, and yet they managed to give you just the little drops of love that they could, did they not, and a whole body jolted.
Judy (23:42):
And that’s what I look for is that body jolt. And she said, yes. And I said to her, what did you do with them? And she said, I guess I grew them. I said to her, so how do you not belong? You’ve given them a legacy. You’ve grown. What had stopped. You’ve started flowing it again. Can you see how you belong into? And, oh my God, I belong to this family. Look who I am for them and look what they gave to me. So from being just a little drop of love, it was this whole legacy. And, and it was just using her language and slipping it around to show her what little drop of love could become mm-hmm. So it’s, we’ve got the words in our mouth. We’ve got the feelings in our souls. It’s literally making you aware of that and then activating your magicianship.
Judy (24:42):
Because what we don’t realize is we are master magicians, ask people all the time, do you watch horror movies regularly? Most of them will say me, no. And I say well, but you tell yourself horror stories about yourself all day long and believe them now the opposite is possible. If you do what she did, which was, tell herself a new truth and go, oh, that’s me, that’s her new truth. It’s now become an internalized new version. And her life will never be the same because she now has new new thought new feelings, new actions. She’s no longer living ancient history as though it were her own. She’s now creating the present and a very new future with children who will have lots of love to pass on not just little drops of love. So those little drops of love become really, really important.
Guy (25:44):
Amazing, amazing. If only more people would understand what you just shared and how important it is. If we cause we, we, we, we look externally so much to fulfill an internal need. Isn’t it
Judy (26:01):
Very much. And everything is literally within you.
Guy (26:04):
Mm.
Judy (26:05):
Yeah. And around you and in your family system, by the way, whether you know it or not, because people will also say to me, yes, but I don’t know my family. Yeah. You do. You know, those idiosyncrasies that you have, that you can’t figure out, you know, that funny language that you speak or that quirk that you have, that nobody has, where do you think it came from? Didn’t happen in a vacuum.
Guy (26:30):
Absolutely. You mentioned about body language and you look for the jolt. D do you, do you find that we, we act out in behaviorally through body, our body language as well in, in, in what we had inherited as a way of keeping ourselves safe?
Judy (26:48):
Yep. Very, very much. Yep. Very much. And in fact, um, I had somebody who came in and the whole time that we were working, she kept standing on her left leg and lifting her right leg. And eventually I said to what’s that should I dunno? I said, when did it start? Well, when I was about 18, what happened to you when you were 18? I was raped. Ah, and I went and told my father, and he said, you stupid stupid person. I taught you to be safer than that. And she said, I haven’t spoken to him since. And I said, yeah, now you raise your right leg. So you don’t have support from the father. And I said, who else didn’t have support from the father in, it went back generations. And then I said to you, question, you have a son. If he ran out the middle of the road right now, what would you do? And she said, I would so smack him. I, him, better than that. And you went, that’s what my father said. And I said, yeah, he wasn’t telling you, you were terrible. It was his jolt of fright. And that would be yours. And she was back talking to her dad within a week. Didn’t start the stop standing on her legs, both her legs after that. So yeah, we watch for the body language.
Guy (28:04):
Yeah. Amazing, amazing. Then with all the people you’ve worked with over the years, and, and I, I’m certainly a believer of this, but how much do you feel then those unresolved emotions that we are living with is actually manifesting into a physical ailment or an issue or
Judy (28:23):
Hundred percent.
Guy (28:27):
I’m just hundred
Judy (28:27):
Percent. If it can’t get your attention, one way, it’ll get your attention the other way. But there’s another piece as well. Sometimes if it’s too much for you or too much for the brain to process, it’ll sit in the body and then start to manifest because it’s trying to get your attention. So what you’ve then gotta do is surface it, bring it to awareness, resolve it in the awareness. And then often the physical piece will go away.
Guy (28:56):
Yeah,
Judy (28:56):
There you go. And I’ve seen that with things even like tumors, by the way. Um, or, or we had a woman with a whole number of, of cysts in her body and she had seven and they couldn’t work out why she kept producing them. And when we had look, there had been seven miscarriages, which we don’t talk about. Well, systems don’t like it when you exclude things. And so the system just very quietly had a way of showing her when we put those in and she could acknowledge everyone and take them into her heart. She didn’t need them in a body anymore.
Guy (29:32):
Wow. And were the seven miscarriages from her or from Nope.
Judy (29:35):
From her generations before. And that was when we didn’t speak about those things.
Guy (29:40):
Wow. That’s
Judy (29:42):
So what, you don’t want to speak about the system’s gonna go, well, pardon me, but here I am and we’re going to talk.
Guy (29:49):
Yeah. Wow. That’s, that’s amazing. It, it, oh, I’m sure everyone listening to this will be racking, their brain thinking back and previous generations and all the things that we were doing and doing it well,
Judy (30:03):
And there’s another piece that’s important and that’s that we don’t just have our nervous system. You also have a family nervous system and a cultural nervous system. So it’s not just about you.
Guy (30:19):
Huh? Isn’t that fascinating? I don’t last retreat duty. We actually measured the group nervous system.
Judy (30:27):
There you go.
Guy (30:28):
Yeah. We, we used heart variability and we created a link and we got everyone sitting in a circle and we were able to measure the, the actual frequency of that group nervous system before.
Judy (30:41):
I’m so not surprised by that.
Guy (30:43):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it’s, it’s certainly out there. Wow. Wow. Is it before I move on? Cause there’s a question I wanna ask you. Is there any question I should have asked you in the topic that we’ve covered or you happy? Cuz I wanna open up another dialogue.
Judy (30:58):
No, I think I’m, I think I’m good if it is, I’m sure. I’ll find a way to circle around
Guy (31:02):
but what, so what are meta patterns?
Judy (31:07):
Yeah. Do you wanna know what
Guy (31:09):
Those are? Think about that. Yes, please. Yeah.
Judy (31:12):
Good. So meta patterns are things like wars, famine, um, di spores. It’s all the big ones because those have profound impacts on big demographics of people. And so what grit, the great depression, big events. So these big events create meta patterns. So let’s say for example, the great depression, the great depression, you had a whole bunch of people who became hoarders, who were really, really risk averse. And that echoed down for a number of generations that don’t waste peace. The, um, be careful. You’ve got two. If, if you’ve finished one, make sure the other one’s on your grocery list. It didn’t come from nowhere. It came from you better make sure that you’ve got, because in this war we have a scarcity and you will have seen that with a pandemic as well. There are definite meta patterns out there, there too. And some of them are political meta patterns. If you are this, you wear a mask. If you are that you don’t wear a mask.
Guy (32:15):
Mm-hmm, got you. What are your thoughts on the last two, three years from your experience, your perspective, the impact it will have on people. Um, and yeah, I’d just be, just be curious to know.
Judy (32:32):
So, so I think again, a couple of things, number one, people may sort of shrink a little bit. A lot of people are saying this hit me and it affected me or it destroyed me. It’s the reason that, that my, uh, event this year at Disney world is capability and resilience, DNA. That is the topic because what people don’t realize because we’ve, we’ve not been raised that way is that they developed a lot of capabilities, but they didn’t internalize them. They didn’t say, look what I, I can do now, now, now, now, now. And so they haven’t made that part of their DNA and it really needs to be wired in, or we will lose that again. And we don’t need to lose that. We need to start recognizing we’re a highly capable species with incredible E evolutionary capabilities. And this is, this is an important one. And the resilience look what we’ve been through. Nobody thought we were going to go through two or three years of lockdown. The other thing that it’s opened up is people saying, well, I’m not really physical. They found out how darn physical they were when they couldn’t hug anybody.
Guy (33:44):
Mm
Judy (33:46):
Yeah. So it’s changed a lot of things.
Guy (33:49):
Absolutely. I mean, I, I re I remember there was a moment here in Australia where I’ve never felt an intensity like this in my entire life before this just pressure. You could, it was so tangible in the air. And it just, it just led to this point where you just think that mass Hyster is gonna break out any moment, like it, you could feel the fear. And I remember thinking to myself, I’m, I’m so grateful for that. I’ve developed a re I, I guess, an internal resilience of this work, because I’d been doing it for such a long time. And I had the, the tools to able to navigate myself, hold space for myself and, and work through me and my family, what was happening. And then I would think about, wow, there are so many people out there that hadn’t learnt these tools,
Judy (34:37):
Right.
Guy (34:38):
Do not know this exists. And I just running, you know, and the default mode then becomes fear. So it, I just want to say that because it highlights how important this work is and how important it is to, to understand ourselves and the way we work. And like you say, start to move those, those, um, inherited systemic conditioning. If you like.
Judy (35:02):
Right. I think the most important part of understanding ourselves is to understand that this is not difficult work. It’s actually one of the biggest adventures you ever go’s you on for so long adventure was out here all the time. Yep. Just waiting for you.
Guy (35:26):
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I can, I can say, honestly, Judy I’ve, I’ve interviewed hundreds of people and your sense of adventure oozes through the scream. When I talk to you and your enthusiasm, it’s, it’s clear for everyone to see. So it’s absolutely brilliant. Um, my, and talking about a sense of adventure, why do you hold your, um, group workshops in, in Disney world?
Judy (35:49):
So I don’t do all of them there, but once a year I do for a couple of reasons. Disney world is probably a little bit more expensive than, than many other places. So it makes you stretch. And I want people to stretch. Number two, I put them in the heart of luxury so they can see what they’re stretching too and see how that they’re becoming bigger. Because once you’ve had that experience, you want it again. And again, number three, it, you are in the heart of, of magic. And the person who really knew to keep going, even when the chips were down, even when people were saying, you’re crazy, give up, he didn’t. And I want people to see what you’re capable of creating when you don’t give up. And then in the evening, of course, I take them into it. And I say, now we’re doing capability and resilience.
Judy (36:41):
This year, don’t have a look at what his capability and resilience created. And no, it wasn’t just this way up. It had a lot of bumps. And, but if you keep going and you keep investing in the dream, you will get there. And not only will you change yourself in the process, you’re going to change the world. There is no option and people come in and they, they go, I I’ll never see the world the same. I can’t, because you literally feel that very tangible magic. And that absolute sense of possibility you walk in and you say to them, oh, we have a problem. Oh, no, there’s no problem. What can we do? Well, this has gone wrong. Well, let’s see how we can make it right. There. Always possibility oriented. And it’s a remarkable feeling to sitting four days of that and to walk out going, wow, my, my whole, my whole frame of reference has completely changed.
Guy (37:39):
Massive. Yeah. And I just love the whole concept of what you’re doing. And that word stretch really jumps out at me, cuz I think we get conditioned to, to retract don’t we? And but if we’re willing to, to lean in and stretch ourselves and, and sit in that discomfort, I guess it’s finding the balance of how uncomfortable you wanna make yourself feel. But
Judy (38:03):
Yeah, it’s the stretch without a snap
Guy (38:06):
Stretch without a snap. Perfect.
Judy (38:07):
Yeah. And I always say to people stretch that. I mean, when I did my first one at Disney, I was stretching because Disney doesn’t play around. They tell you if you, and this is what I love. It’s another aspect. If you want to invest in yourself, then do it. Don’t sit in the fence, come do it. And so I wanted to do one there because I have a, a long story in history with, with Disney. And I had said when I was nine, when he died, if he’s not there to make the magic, I will. And it traveled with me wherever I went. Wow. So got, I got to Disney the first time. And I think I cried for a week because all I could see were these huge possibilities blew my mind. And I thought, what if I, what if I were to teach here?
Judy (38:50):
So I went to them and asked prices and, and my first one was a real stretch. It was, what if nobody shows up, what am I gonna do? This is crazy. What are you doing? Are you, and, and I let those internal thoughts, which by the way, you know, the little dissenters, those are usually your multi-generational ancestors having a word in there. And, and you’ve gotta put that down and go, thank you very much, but moving on. So it was thank you very much and moving on and I’m now into my eighth one and people love them.
Guy (39:25):
Congratulations. It’s amazing. I can still relate. Cause obviously I run retreats here in Australia. Exactly. And, and I can relate a hundred percent to what you share and I, it’s just fabulous what you’re doing and I applaud you for, for all of that and continuing to stretch and making space available for people to then stretch themselves and lean into this. Thank you. Massive. Yeah. Um, just to, to look back and finish up the podcast regarding your book, what is your hope for your book and what can people expect to find within the pages?
Judy (39:59):
Uh, so, okay. The hope for the book is millions of books out there because I really want humanity to understand it is not difficult to see that you are a remarkable life. You are a remarkable life. All you’ve gotta do is know how to see it. I wrote it because people kept saying to me, I need to know how to do it. And even when I’ve been to a lot of this work, I don’t understand it. So what I did was broke it out so that you can take that book. You can work through it. Not only will you understand your patterns and where they came from, how they’re affecting you and what they’re trying to tell you, but you’ll be able to set up a constellation for yourself and you’ll be able to use it in your work. And that was the whole premise was make it so understandable that anybody can pick it up and they’re going to transform themselves.
Guy (40:55):
Amazing. Amazing. Well, I have one last question for you on the show, Judy, before you, uh, we wrap the podcast up and that is with everything we’ve covered today. Is there anything you’d like to leave the listeners to ponder on?
Judy (41:13):
Yeah. Who you are, is the latest in a long line of love letters. For many of us, we’ve never opened those letters. All we’ve been taught is that we’re small. You’re not, you’re not a train wreck. You never were. The things that happened to you happen for you. And if you learn to look at them that way, there is no way that you’ll stumble into a junk pile. You’ll find you’re sitting in the middle of a gem pile and it is waiting for you to pick them up, use them and grow them one at a time, the universe is in service of you. It always was. And it always will be, and it’s not difficult to do, but it’s a lot of fun. ,
Guy (42:04):
absolutely beautiful. Judy I’ll ensure all the show notes, the links to your website to your book, uh, will be below this podcast. Whether people are listening on Spotify, iTunes, or YouTube, you just need to pause, drop down and be able to find out more about your work and, uh, and the everything that you’re doing, including Disney world as well. So thank you so much for coming on the podcast, Judy, and thank you for bringing your enthusiasm, your work. And, um, I loved every minute of it on the script. They appreciate it.
Judy (42:35):
And me and everything that you do over there.
Guy (42:40):
You’re welcome.